Made me laugh - Radio 2 phone in - Pointless Instructions

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by fired, May 7, 2008.

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  1. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    Anyone hear it this afternoon - people ringing in with instructions they'd found on purchased items / seen on signs:

    On a bottle of wine " best to drink with or without food"
    On a set of Christmas lights - "Please use only indoors, or outdoors"
    Collapsing instructions for a pram - "Remove baby before folding up pram"
    On a blow torch (used for paint-stripping at 400+ degrees - "Not to be used as a hairdryer"

    My favourite ever though

    "Do not throw stones at this sign"


    :D
     
    fired, May 7, 2008
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  2. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Do not make

    Lascivious comments about the voluptuous lady of the house that could be overheard by said lady.
     
    JLWBigLil, May 7, 2008
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  3. Ady

    Ady Active Member

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    I heard them driving back from Redcar, some very funny. :)
     
    Ady, May 7, 2008
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  4. EastStander

    EastStander Active Member

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    Is that all it said on the sign?
     
    EastStander, May 7, 2008
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  5. Gue

    Guest Guest

    Were you not just excited about leaving Redcar?
     
    Guest, May 7, 2008
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  6. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    apparently that was a photo taken - no other signs around - just that. (dunno) :D
     
    fired, May 7, 2008
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  7. Ady

    Ady Active Member

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    Indeed, i deliver there everyday, and its such a depressing place.. highlight of the day, is joining the A19 south.. :D
     
    Ady, May 7, 2008
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  8. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    I was travelling down from York with possibly the most boring woman on earth. Soon turned the radio up when that came on. :D
     
    fired, May 7, 2008
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  9. bright red

    bright red Well-Known Member

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    I remember this one ....

    SIGN NOT IN USE
     
    bright red, May 7, 2008
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  10. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    On kids Superman costume

    "This will not enable you to fly"
     
    fired, May 7, 2008
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  11. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    genius. I also remember seeing....

    .......on the outer packaging for a kiddies' lunchbox - "food and drink not included". Still not as funny as "not to be used as a hairdryer" though.
     
    Merde Tete, May 7, 2008
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  12. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    You won't believe this

    I've actually seen that sign. It was in the middle of a field on the Pennine Way on the north side of the M62 footbridge at Windy Hill in 1981. there was nothing on it apart from the text "It is forbidden to throw stones at this notice"

    Gospel, honest!
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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  13. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    "May contain traces of nuts"

    On a bag of KP peanuts. Also seen on cricket boxes.
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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  14. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    RE: "May contain traces of nuts"

    and net curtains presumably (blagger)
     
    fired, May 7, 2008
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  15. Googs

    Googs Well-Known Member

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    Lol, I was gonna post that one. Absolutely barmy.
     
    Googs, May 7, 2008
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  16. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    Just won't let it drop will you?

    Well neither would I.

    By the way you are playing on Sunday meet ground 1pm
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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  17. Gue

    Guest Guest

    There's one for...

    Dragon pies or something that says, "does not contain dragon"
     
    Guest, May 7, 2008
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  18. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    On a sleeping aid: “Warning: may cause drowsiness” nt
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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  19. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    On some frozen dinners: “serving suggestion: defrost” nt
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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  20. Sta

    Stahlrost Well-Known Member

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    On an American airlines packet of nuts: “instructions: open packet, eat nuts” nt
     
    Stahlrost, May 7, 2008
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