Making a phonecall to any company/organisation in 2024

"Hello, thanks for calling xyz."

-- 5 minute automated speech about getting off the phone and googling your problem

"We'll now put you through to an advisor"

-- 3 minute speech about privacy policies, data collection

-- 30 seconds to tell you about the complaints procedure

"We'll now actually put you through to an advisor"

-- Please press 1 if your matter is stupid and you shouldn't be calling us
-- Please press 2 if you'd like us to hang up on you and text you a generic and unhelpful link
-- Please press 3 for an extremely specific issue that is never the one you're calling about
-- Please press 4 for any other enquiry

*presses 4*

"Thank you, we'll now actually really really put you through to an advisor"

-- 45 minutes on hold with ear-crunching music

"We're sorry, all our advisors are busy. Please try again later."

*call disconnects*

AAAAAAAARRRRGRGRHH

 

Every time…..

 

Agreed. Reading a password to a chatbot is a killer....

"Is that F for Foxtrot?" " NO! It's F for F**k off!!!"

The only exception is First Direct. The very best customer service over the phone. No one else comes anywhere near.

 

Had the same with HMRC, spent hours searching the website for the answer, eventually I had to use the phone number for the dedicated helpline that they'd set up if the answer wasn't on the website.
Spent 55 mins listening to greensleeves before someone picked up... the only advice he could give was to look on their website.

 

Agreed. We switched to First Direct last year for our joint account when Intelligent Finance decided they were no longer doing current accounts and they have been excellent.

I have always found Octopus Energy to be pretty decent as well, although there are reports that the customer service has suffered a bit with the sheer number of new customers they have taken on as they hoovered up failing competitors.

 

Yep was on an hour to OVO last week just like that..
Complete and utter waste..

 

DON'T press any buttons. At all. The only quick way to get to "An Advisor" but beware, they are only reading off a screen too.

 

Pressing 0 or # repeatedly can get you through in many cases.

 

When you eventually get through Sky are quite good. Two of the last three times I rang up to cancel they ended up selling me my package cheaper. Then the third time I told them about my change in circumstances and they cut me off straight away for compassionate reasons. They've also left my account open and the offers are still available to me on my return.

 

Oh, oh no. This is too traumatic.

Also is the Vivaldi on a Casio keyboard loop and the one with George Ezra and Ed Sheeran ad infinitum.

 

Don’t forget about giving them your details both in touchtone and verbal form, only to be asked again by the second call handler you get onto!