Management Speak list....

You know the type of cr@p they come out with so lets have a list of it (with a translation into real speak if possible....not always )

Office workers may have an advantage on this one



Here goes....

...Let's not win the race to the bottom.



(Sure I've heard that somewhere )

 

We need to put our foot on the ball
We need to take a crows nest perspective
We need to ________ going forwards
Pick the low hanging fruit
We to design from the outside in
We need to prioritise the end user
We need to acknowledge our internal customers

Loads of ********. Add a manipulation of statistics, particularly in percentage terms.

 

Amongst my favourites are:

To touch base.
To take it offline.
Moving forwards.

 

American management speak. When I was in management 20 years ago, we had none of this crap.

 

There's no I in team
Failing to prepare is preparing to fail
What can't speak can't lie
Don't assume as it makes an ass outta u and me (my pet hate)
Retail is detail
Dial with a smile

 

The higher the monkey climbs the more you can see its arse.

 

The scenery only changes for the lead dog.

 

Think outside the box

 

Blue sky thinking.

 

Footfall
Synergy

although on the other side of the coin....a fighter pilots expression for being overwhelmed by enemy aircraft is ' a target rich environment'.