many a true word spoken in jest.................

<table class="contentpaneopen" border="0"><tbody><tr><td class="contentheading" style="width: 100%">BANKS TO LEND YOU YOUR OWN MONEY </td><td class="buttonheading" style="width: 100%" align="right"> </td><td class="buttonheading" style="width: 100%" align="right"> </td></tr></tbody></table><table class="contentpaneopen" border="0"><tbody><tr><td valign="top" colspan="2">

THE government is to invest &pound;500bn of your money in British banks so they can lend it back to you with interest.
</p>

<div class="mosimage" style="float: right; width: 270px" align="center"> <div class="mosimage_caption" style="text-align: center" align="center">'I got confused'</div></div></p>The historic move is being hailed as a lifeline for the financial system as long as nobody asks too many questions.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Corbett and Barker, said: &quot;The government will give your money to the banks so the banks can start lending you that money, probably at around 7% APR.

&quot;Thanks to all the interest you're paying on your own money, the banks will make billions of pounds again and normality will be restored.

</p>

&quot;After a few years of this the government will cash in the bank shares it bought with your money and use the profits to build a huge fecking dome somewhere.&quot;

He added: &quot;In case you hadn't already worked it out - the entire global financial system is predicated on the assumption that you're an idiot.&quot;

Chancellor Alistair Darling said the decision had been taken in tandem with the banking industry, adding: &quot;They used a lot of dirty words I'd never heard before and one of them had an angry looking dog.&quot;

Meanwhile, Emma Bradford, a sales manager from Bath, said: &quot;Why doesn't the government just give my money to me so I can buy stuff from businesses who will then make a profit and put it in a bank?&quot;

But Mr Darling insisted: &quot;Shut up.&quot;</p></td></tr></tbody></table>