from Official Website Martian Under-21 Striker Itza Spuuv is poised to sign for The Reds today. A small saucer shaped space craft was seen parked on Grove St car park this morning and Manager Simon Davey moved quickly to confirm the rumours. "Yes, Itza and his agent are here for talks. It the mid-season break until June on Mars, so we would like to bring him on loan until the end of the season". 19 year old Spuuv has played 8 time for Mars under-21's, scoring 3 goals. He is 7ft 2in tall, has 6 legs, a green scaly head, but no arms. Davey continued "He will bring something a little bit different to the squad. He is a tall lad for his age, dangerous from set-pieces but likes it in to his feet. A bit like Peter Crouch. His lack of arms should not be a major problem, as it stops him giving away silly free-kicks for handball or shirt-pulling". Davey did admit one slight drawback though. "We have not had a keeper on the bench recently as Kay Odejayi can go in if required. If Itza plays in place of him, I will have to put Kyle Letheren on the bench at QPR, just in case Muller gets injured or has a strop at half time." It is understood that if Spuuz signs, he will move into the same overcrowded Sheffield flat as Miguel Mossto, Diego Leon, Jamal Campbell-Ryce and Dennis Souza. Souza will act as translator as he speaks excellent Martian amongst his other languages. When Davey was asked about how his interest in the giant Martian hit-man materialised, he said "I have done some coaching badges on one or two of the inner solar-system planets and have got a scouting network out there. To be honest I don't care if the kid comes from Mapplewell, Mozambique or Mars; I just like collecting players from exotic locations, no matter how good they are".
I'm over the moon to hear of this signing, i've heard from a good source in the club his ball skills are out of this world.
Hey that's right ! All them Martian fellas died of a chill after a few weeks, it said so in the documentary about war of the worlds. Mind you, they all had that hard flange type thing sticking out of thier skulls, so heading a football could be a bit hit and miss.