Matchday with Monkey : Blades Home part 2

Well anyway what happened next ? The steward went away.

We put the lens cap on and hid the camera, got the mobile out and started to hide behind the man in front. Risking certain arrest and ejection if spotted again ALL FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT !




Monkey : Why's Anderson got booked when it's Kenny standing on their player ?




Ronni Jamal : Dadad why dunt ee put Amill on ?

Monkey : It is so obvious ! A six week old tiny monkey knows what's best.




Then the Blunts score and we realise they have got some supporters. The 0-0 we had been hanging on for slips away.




It gets doubly worse and Monkey cannot bear to watch Kenny dancing about. Seismometers across the world are registering this.





Now you'd think that being sat right behind the goal we'd have managed a good shot of the penalty.




And then we score and I realise Monkey has run off .




Apparently someone shouted something provocative in a Welsh accent from the dugout and a bit of a fight broke out.




The final whistle goes. Darren Moore hugs Chris Morgan. Not tightly enough.

Monkey : Well why do you support Barnsley F.C. ?

Me : Because I love them. I love the town and it's people. I've got coal dust in my blood and I've got Barnsley dna and I....

Monkey : OK, no need for speeches !

And off we go back to the car. I am nearly overcome by an urge to sing a song for Iain Hume but I am sensible and walk out in front of a speeding 4x4 instead.



This Morning I was woken by the pitter patter of tiny feet.





R.Tiverton : I am leaving. I am going to live in Barnsley. I cannot live a lie any more. You have been misleading the good people of Barnsley for a year and that is very wrong.

Me : But Tivvy, it's never been a secret ! I'll buy you that ruler you wanted from the club shop.

R.Tiverton : You cannot buy my soul !

Me : And the pencil sharpener too ?




Me : Aren't you taking your favourite book ? ( R.Tiverton has been correcting the grammar and spelling of all the thick Blunts who invade Tykesmad )

R.Tiverton : Post it onto me, I'll email you my new address.




He disappears down the drive carrying with him all his most precious things.

As if today wasn't miserable enough !

 

aaawww poor likkle mite - is he going to be alright.

You know things that happen in childhood can leave scars for life - finding out he's a deedar could haunt him forever. Maybe he needs a psychiatrist, then again maybe we'll all need one by the end of the season..........

 

It's my agent that's scarred. I've just noticed she'd titled this thread "Blades HOME" now there's a Freudian slip if ever there was one.

I guess Tivvy will have to go to Dr.De Zeuww's Therapy Centre to get sorted out.