Matchday with Monkey : Charlton Home

R.Tiverton : Hurry up Slebitty Daddy, it's kick off in only five hours time. We'll be late !

Monkey : I'm sure you can manage without me. I have seen Charlton before.

Me : But you are Barnsley F.C.'s No.1 Celebrity Fan. If you don't come you might lose your title !

Monkey : Can I bring Ronni Jamal ?

R.Tiverton : Of course not, it's a girl and a deedar. They won't let it in the ground, it might elbow someone.

Me : She is a bit young don't you think ?

Ronni Jamal is left at home much to my relief.





Me : Try these on, we may need them later.

Monkey : Ha ... our very own Tykesmad rose-tinted spectacles !

Me : Yes, they will give you a positive outlook on the rest of the season to make it less stressful.

Monkey : But I can't see through them !

Me : Yes, that's how they work.




The match kicks off and the ball bounces about a lot, hither and thither, from one player to another. Nobody appears to know why or what they ought to be doing about it. It goes on for 45 minutes and a bit.

HALF TIME





R.Tiverton : You must stay positive Slebitty Daddy and no moaning or our photographer might go off in a huff again.

Monkey groans quietly then perks up as he remembers something he has hidden away.





Me : Where did you get that from !

Monkey : Someone on Spacebook asked if I preferred Galaxy to Dairy Milk and I didn't know the answer.

Me : But you have no money ! Hey....those were on the counter at WH Smiths......Monkey ! It said in the Sunday Times last week that monkeys have a conscience, you can't go round stealing things.


Monkey : It's OK ! We can go back next week and I'll take some Dairy Milk to even it up.

I take the chocolate off him and decide to make him return it next week.





My phone has not been working all afternoon.

I now know why. There are 122 videos or Ronni Jamal's every move since Tuesday night.

R.Tiverton : Not that wretched thing ! Turn it off !!



The second half kicks off and goes on in much the same way as the first except it is the other way round. We can just about tell this.




Monkey : Remember last time we played Charlton and you made me stay in your bag till we were winning and I sort of ate all the lucky polos, well I'm quite willing to make that sacrifice again.

Me : That won't be necessary, keep the faith Monkey.

( He is not getting out of watching it that easily ... If I have to then he has to too ! )





R.Tiverton : Oooo good, some new players who are going to be better than the old ones.




R.Tiverton : Mr.Davey does know what he's doing doesn't he ?

I roll my head about in a non-commital way, neither nodding or shaking.




Five minutes left and still no breakthrough. Desperate times call for desperate measures so I push Monkey in my bag and tell him to gobble the lot.

Monkey : Really ! Woooooooooooo




R.Tiverton : I think somebody didn't score then.




Extra time. Monkey is onto the last polo and is looking rather ill.

R.Tiverton : Hurry up and finish them, it nearly worked I think !



One minute to go :-




R.Tiverton : Rose-tinted spectacles please ! NOW !!!



The match ends.



R.Tiverton : Well. All that running about all afternoon and what was it all for ?




Just before we get back to the car Monkey announces he is going to be explosively sick.




We just make it the the grate in the car park in time.

Monkey : Urrrrrrgggghhh ! Hey guess what I can see floating past ! Those two easy points Barnsley just threw down the drain..........

 

I'm sicker than CM tonight, having been all the way up and back for that!!

Wish I'd stayed in Bucks all day. At least listening to it on BWorld I could have done something else at the same time, instead of having to sit freezing watching that load of rubbish!

 

RE: I'm sicker than CM tonight, having been all the way up and back for that!!

They should let people like you into the dressing room after the match to let the players know how far you've come so you can vent your spleen at them !

I could have spent the afternoon cuddling Ronni Jamal and now I have missed several precious hours of her life.

 

Was that DARK Galaxy?

Giptasticist chocolate bar ever....eeewwwww.

 

RE: Was that DARK Galaxy?

NO Ali. It was milk and we've scoffed the lot now to cheer ourselves up a bit.

 

I'd like some of those rose tinted specs please! nt

 

Deffo Dairy Milk

next week then?

 

RE: I'd like some of those rose tinted specs please! nt

Apply to Simon Davey, he supplies them.

 

RE: Deffo Dairy Milk

I have to find the 99p to take to WH Smiths for the Galaxy first Ali. It's not going to be easy.

 

RE: Deffo Dairy Milk

What no one divvied up for a little somert for Ronni Jamal?
Is there no baby monkey benefit?
Get down the back of your agents sofa & chairs, even try under them.
If you dont get a whole 99p, get a small bar

 

Was Celebrity Monkey at Swills borough I missed your post if you were..

 

http://www.barnsleyfc.org.uk/bbs/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=134664&posts=8#M897339

Yes I was at the sty. I bet you are wondering where Ronni Jamal came from !

 

Free Images

I wish my missis would pi** off out

 

Yes Monkey I did

 

That was very touching Monkey thank you for that....shame about the timing of the Birth though..

 

Re: Matchday with Monkey : Charlton Home nt

 

We saw monkey on our way to the ground

He was hanging for dear life off a bag. Me and my sister were going mad in the car, my Dad thought we were both a bit sad and asked who Celebrity Monkey was!!

 

RE: We saw monkey on our way to the ground

I hope you weren't driving !

I hope you are not calling my agent a bag as in Monkey was dangling off a bag.

 

RE: We saw monkey on our way to the ground

It was my sister who was driving.
The bag was on your agents back, your agents not a bag!

 

RE: We saw monkey on our way to the ground

Made my day seeing celebrity monkey! I actually screamed out in the car - "Its Celebrity Monkey" and I phoned my boyfriend to tell him!