Matchday with Monkey : Ipswich Home

R.Tiverton has been patiently sitting by the door ready to set off since 2 o'clock. It is now time to leave and Monkey cannot be found.

Then I hear a clickety-click sound and a lot of woolly swearing.



Me : What are you doing ? Hurry up ! We've got to get our pig ticket tonight.

Monkey : I am knitting a hat like the one Mr. Bog-thingy is wearing in his photo. You will have to wait till I have finished.

I am not going to argue and shove him in my bag. I notice the 'hat' is as full of holes as Barnsley's defence at Norwich.
Haha, we set off in a good mood and I drive and walk with a fully recovered ankle - hooray ! Things are looking up.




R.Tiverton : Have you got enough money for 3 tickets ? I can't wait to go to Deedar town, I have never been.
I know it's horrible there but I will be brave.




Monkey has spotted celebrity fan club poet in the car park and is pulling faces at him. This is a good thing as he is distracted while I spot an abomination behind the counter. Don't tell Monkey ! The thing is wearing a blue scarf !!!! I will willingly dress this creature properly if its owner wishes.





The Monkeys have brought presents for our new striker.

Monkey : It says on the internet that Maltesers eat maltesers.




R.Tiverton : I have got him a sheep's eyeball lolly because he was born in Libya and that's what they eat.




The match kicks off.

Monkey : Do you think they got him out of a catalogue ? He doesn't look half the size he does in the photo.

I am just about to point out that people often think Monkey is a lot bigger than he actually is when Ipswich score.




There is barely time to moan before Ipswich score again.

Monkey : Right, I'm not watching anymore. I could have stayed home and watched Holby City and got on with my knitting.

R.Tiverton : Shurrup and get behind the Reds ! Come on Barnsley.


HALF TIME



R.Tiverton : Second half. Bogdanovich hatrick. Just you wait.

His little face cheers me up no end but I resist the temptation to tell him he is cute.

Me : So when is the new baby due Monkey ?

Monkey : Well Maureen reckoned at 8.30pm on Valentines Day but now she's decided to rearrange it for about 3 or 4 weeks after. At least she's not having an octopus like the woman in America.

I make a mental note to get his ears syringed.




Monkey waves to Farnham and R.Tiverton plays some of the notes from Mozart's Horn concerto in E flat major for Laura.




Me : I thought those were a present !

Monkey : Footballers shouldn't eat chocolate. Not when they are losing 2 - 0 at home.




The second half starts and there is a lot of movement and Mr.Bog-thingy scores.

Monkey : I was born with a gift and that is to put chocolate in my mouth...........




And we all dive into the maltesers, some more literally than others. We have a new lucky sweet.




But it doesn't last. Jaws drop as Bobby Hassell finally hits the target.



Bogdanovich is substituted for another player.

R.Tiverton : Would you like your lolly now Daniel ? You have deserved it.




Oakwell begins to experience severe subsidence. 11,000 people are hoping this is all a bad bad dream.

But it wasn't.




By the time I have limped back to the car R.Tiverton has cried himself to sleep and my foot is hurting again.

Monkey : Well, we'll just have to have a bag each next week. That foot of yours. It's still the best left foot I've seen all night.

 

wonder if monkey was scared with the floodlight failure nt

 

I take it your agent is up and about again now!

Thanks for the report and tell R Tivvy that I'm sorry I wasn't there to hear him play the horn concerto, maybe next time.</p>

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RE: wonder if monkey was scared with the floodlight failure nt

It was me that unplugged it but don't tell anyone.

 

couldn't you have done it a hour earlier, and with the others too nt

 

RE: I take it your agent is up and about again now!

Yes, finally out of bed.

R.Tivvy's horn is rather quiet fortunately, I don't really think you'd want to hear it !

 

200 miles is no excuse !

 

I like R Tivvy - he really is a glass half full kinda guy