Matchday with Monkey : QPR home

Monkey has solved the problem of who owns the wellies and is putting the finishing touches to a delicate bit of embroidery when ....




Maureen : Ronni, Ronni Jamal, where are you sweetie. Come along now it's time to get the bus to Meadowhall.

Me : Quick, get in my bag, we'll sneak out the back way and finish the sewing in the car !

R.Tiverton : Why is that deedar coming ? It doesn't know about football and what are we going to do if it rains ?

Monkey : You'll both have to hop R.Tivvy.




Final preparations in the car

Me : Are you not going to sew 'Jamal' on too ?

Monkey : Sigh. Well, some legends last longer than others, we'll see.



We arrive at Oakwell only to find an unwanted guest in the directors' box.

R.Tiverton : Oi, you Deedar Blackwell come and get her, she's down here, she's one of yours, take her back with you !

Monkey : R.Tivvy ! Just ignore him like everyone else.

There are some stoney faces and folded arms up there.





The game kicks off and there are times when we all find it difficult to keep our eyes on the ball as it flies past in the stratosphere. But there is some good football going on.






And then Boggy scores. It has been quite a long time since a goal at Oakwell and we have almost forgotten what to do.




But then QPR equalise and dark clouds of pessimism begin to waft over us.




Until.......HOOOOOOOOORAY......Anderson scores !!!


HALF TIME




Ronni Jamal : De dede der der da da daaa daa da

R.Tiverton : Well that just proves it's a deedar ! It talks like that Bean man, Shut up deedar !! SHUT UP ! Kevin Blackwell's coming to get you and take you away.

Ronni Jamal : De der da da da Dad dad dad dad

Monkey beams from ear to ear.




Half-time entertainment is provided by the Maltese synchronised diving team.


The second half kicks off.



Monkey : You are singing a lot today. Is that because you think someone might be watching you after all you've been spouting this week ? My arms are getting tired.




He sends R.Tiverton to sit on the fence. It's a cracking game and all is going well till Ronni Jamal speaks her second and third words....




Ronni Jamal : Davey out ! DAVEY OUT !

R.Tiverton : That shows how daft it is ! Shut up daft deedar ! SHUT UP !! You should only shout that when we're losing.

Monkey : Will you tell her to shut up please !

Me : I don't know where she's picked up ideas like that ? She's too little to have been on the message boards yet surely ?

We apologise to the people round us and she settles down which is a good thing because noisy anti-Davey riff raff are not allowed to sit behind the dugout.




The final whistle goes and we all breathe a sigh of relief.

Monkey : Where DO you stand on Simon Davey ?

Me : What sort of question is that ? I have no intention of standing on him !

Monkey : You are avoiding the question just like yesterday when your mum asked you if you'd ever had an imaginary friend.




We get home and Monkey rushes upstairs.

Monkey : She's been a little angel and she didn't get bored and we won and in fact we always win when she comes, she is a lucky baby and so I'll have to take her every time and .....

Maureen : And where is R.Tiverton ?

Monkey : Ermmmmmmmmmm

 

Nutty as a bloomin' fruitcake. Keep it up.

By the way, we've got a Celebrity Monkey teatowel.
Does this mean you're branching out into big business and advertising now?

 

Oh no

I told you I'd adopt him - now monkey's gone n lost R Tivvy.

If social services bring him back I'll take him in future I have a spare seat in the Ponty now RR#2 is working. He can learn to do singing in the Ponty

 

RE: Oh no

I'm sure he'll turn up Ali. Plenty of pie crumbs for him to eat in the stadium and we'll pick him up Tuesday week.

 

Oh dear

I hope R Tivvy is alright - he's only lickle.....and there used to be a big mouser cat that lived at Oakwell














(And Monkey's agent: top quality match reporting - far, far better than the Chron is currently putting out!!!!)

 

Susie is reyt

there is allus a mouser. Mind R Tivvy may end up team mascot & refuse to come home now Ronni Jamal is the apple of Monkey's eye.

I can just see it now, R Tivvy being cradled gently by Heinz Muller in those huge gloves. Giving JCR a piggy back to the training ground to save his little legs. Bet he's found hung on the changing room wall with his own kit peg

 

no mention of the half time visitor???

I was expecting nudger to get a big mention and hopefully a pic (so I know who to avoid)

 

no mention of the half time visitor???

I was expecting nudger to get a big mention and hopefully a pic (so I know who to avoid)

 

(zzz) (zzz) (zzz) (zzz) (zzz) (zzz) (zzz)

 

RE: no mention of the half time visitor???

Hmmm we thought it might have been Nudger ! We don't really want any more visits from Mr.Doyle's men so we couldn't do what he was suggesting, sorry.