Mate's just rang and reminded me

We saw the Arctic Monkeys at Birdwell Club.

 

No it's the truth. I never realised. Anyone want to buy the tickets ?

 

You never realised?

Where did you think you were, playing golf?

 

is that a rhyming slang picture?

 

It's a pie that has been suitably porked

And it's my contention that Dirk has been telling them.

 

RE: It's a pie that has been suitably porked

I thought it was a jaffa cake.

Anyway Dirk's rubbish.

 

He must be

Anyway, my mate has just rung me and reminded me I've been to the moon! I'm a ******* astronaut. I just didn't realise it at the time.

Have that.

 

RE: He must be

I left my phone at home, but I get a feeling that I played for England against Germany in 1966 in the world cup.

I was dancing apparently.

 

RE: You never realised?

No he works for emap, got us some tickets and a team of us went up there, I'm not a big gig lover, so didn't take much notice. He's just rang an asked if I want the ticket from the night to sell. Not bothered either way really.

 

They didn't make much impression then?

 

RE: They didn't make much impression then?

I gave them a few pointers like.

 

At team of you went up there ?

Do you mean 'Mob Handed' ?

I'd prefer to think of you as having a crew

 

And it's because of you they are where they are today

I even believe they wrote a song about you.

So who's that girl there?
I wonder what went wrong
So that she had to roam the streets
She don't do major credit cards
I doubt she does receipts
It's all not quite legitimate

And Dirk's a scummy man
Just give him half a chance
I bet he'll rob you if he can
Can see it in his eyes, yeah
That he's got a driving ban
Amongst some other offences

 

I've just received a letter...

...reminding me that my aggressive yet technically-gifted guitar playing style laid the foundations for Metallica, Exodus and the rest of the thrash/speed metal movement of the early 1980s.

It's either that or a gas bill; I haven't opened it yet.

 

RE: And it's because of you they are where they are today

A Certain Romance is about Dirk is it not? 15 year old scrapping with pool cues and acting like dickheads after a couple of cans?

"I bet you look good on the dancefloor" - written about TFP

 

RE: And it's because of you they are where they are today

I've never been banned from driving. Taught Michael Schumaker all he knows.

Can you guess who I am today ?

 

RE: At team of you went up there ?

7 of us. And a pale lass in a dress.

 

RE: I've just received a letter...

Don't open it Gaz, hang onto that. What it actually says is:

"that your ridiculous hair style laid the foundations for Metallica, Exodus and the rest of the thrash/speed metal movement of the early 1980s and Bryan May"

It's taken them a while to track you down, because you've cut your hair a bit, but they're furious

 

Magnificent 7 and a Hippie do the Birdwell Club

**** me, watch out Barnsley - Kes 2 is about to be made