Message from 10 Downing Street

Dear people of the United Kingdom

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of **** it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.

Sincerely,

Gordon Brown

 

My old man has just faced most of those...

Worked for 48 years, now 63, two years from retirement.</p>

Lost his job few months back.</p>

At 63 not much hope of getting another job, 2 years to survive to get his pension.</p>

Getting minimum dole money, which barely covers bills.</p>

 

RE: My old man has just faced most of those...

Sorry to hear that matey, very tough times, hope things pick up for your Dad and evrybody else affected.