My mates down the pub became a Dad for the first time yesterday

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Tyketical Masterstroke, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. Tyk

    Tyketical Masterstroke Well-Known Member

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    They had a boy, Robert, (Bob) 6lbs 12 oz.

    The midwives are already criticising him and saying he's not taking milk on properly - but this hospital won't break me. I mean, my mates down the pub.
     
    Tyketical Masterstroke, Mar 6, 2012
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  2. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    That's the problem with negative midwives - can't they see he's a work in progress ? tell your mate and your wife, sorry his wife not to be intimidated by the breast feeding nazis.
     
    Extremely Northern, Mar 6, 2012
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  3. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    Your mate will have to do without sex for ages, tell him. It'll all have changed downstairs and she'll be too knackered to try and get going and your mate will spiral into a never ending cycle of deeper and darker internet pornography to achieve arousal. Probably. Let him know that too.
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 6, 2012
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  4. Tyk

    Tyketical Masterstroke Well-Known Member

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    Or "Congratulations", as perhaps some other people might say...
     
    Tyketical Masterstroke, Mar 6, 2012
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  5. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    Indeed that's what I meant to say, tell him congratulations.
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 6, 2012
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  6. The Full Ponty

    The Full Ponty Well-Known Member

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    Can I just be the first to say:

    Triblitoodebaarkydafwoofa.
     
    The Full Ponty, Mar 6, 2012
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  7. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations Matt. Err, I mean your mates down the pub.

    You must be mental.

    I heartily approve of the name Bob. In my opinion everyone should be called Bob.
     
    Jay, Mar 6, 2012
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