My toughest ever task as an Englishman......

.....explaining cricket to foreigners. Hopeless, absolutely hopeless.

 

I tried explaining it to an Israeli lad at University.
He said 'So all the fielders stand around waiting for the ball, for FIVE days?'

erm.... basically yes.

 

a mate's dad was over from the Sudan...

and my mate (who'd been to public school) explained in detail the rules. His dad, an old gezer, happily sat in front of the telly. Next thing you know, he's busy shouting at my mate cos this bloke had been caught and yet he wasn't out.

Bl**dy no balls...

 

This should help!

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been given out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

 

RE: This should help!

Another quote from the Israeli.

'F*cking hell, this ball is like a rock'. They throw this at nearly 100 mph!!??

erm.... basically yes.