>SALAD DODGER >An excellent phrase for an overweight person. > >SWAMP-DONKEY >A deeply unattractive person. > >TESTICULATING >Waving your arms around and talking b@ll@cks > >BLAMESTORMING >Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a >project failed, and who was responsible. > >SEAGULL MANAGER >A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr@ps on everything, and >then leaves. > >ASSMOSIS >The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by >sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. > >SALMON DAY >The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get >screwed and die. > >CUBE FARM >An office filled with cubicles. > >PRAIRIE DOGGING >When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's >heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to >applause for a promotion because there may be cake.) > >SITCOMs >Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into >when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with >the kids or start a "home business". > >SINBAD >Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. > >AEROPLANE BLONDE >One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. > >PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE >The fine art of whacking the cr@p out of an electronic device to get it to >work again. > >ADMINISPHERE >The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. >Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly >inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. >This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless >paperwork and processes. > >GOING FOR A McSHIT >Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're >just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your >declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a >McSh!t with Lies. > >404 >Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not >Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located. > >AUSSIE KISS >Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. > >OH - NO SECOND >That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made >a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all'). > >GREYHOUND >A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. > >JOHNNY-NO-STARS >A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works >in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying >stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level >of training. > >MILLENNIUM DOMES >The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from >the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing. > >MONKEY BATH >A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! >Aa! Aa!". > >MYSTERY BUS >The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet >after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the >pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in. > >MYSTERY TAXI >The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake >up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your >bed instead. > >BEER COAT >The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at >3:00am. > >BEER COMPASS >The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze >cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you >got here, and where you've come from. > >BREAKING THE SEAL >Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After >breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be >required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. > >TART FUEL >Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women. > >PICASSO BUM >A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got >4 buttocks.
