.....so I go to investigate. Me : What are you doing now ? Monkey : We are suffragettes. We are protesting about not being able to vote for the new Tykesmad mods. Ronni Jamal : VOTES FOR MONKEYS !! Me : Well why have you chained yourselves to the bath ? Monkey : It was the only chain we could find. You won't be able to have a bath until we get the vote. Me : Fine, I prefer the shower anyway. Next thing there is a lot of clip clopping and Doncaster Rovers appear in the bath with their horses. Monkey : Great, you got my text then ! Pikey 1 : Yes, what is so urgent that we had to come right away ? Monkey : I want you to stage a horse race then I will run out in front of the winner and be dangerously wounded ( but just pretend to hurt me won't you ! ). That's right R.Tivvy isn't it ? R.Tiverton : Yes, it worked for women. Pikey 2 : For heaven's sake, I think we have better things to do thank you ! Me : Yes but next you are going to all have to go on hunger strike too. Monkey : R.Tiverton, you never mentioned THAT ! Where's the key ?
RE: Did you go on Tuesday monkey? SOMEBODY LIED TO US ! Said it was an away match ! Fobbed us off with a packet of M&S chocolate biscuit selections when the result came in.... 'Oh ! I must have got Burnley and Barnsley all mixed up ! Silly me !'