Not had any jokes for a long time - her's a good cricket one

(Stolen just now from the BBC cricket live coverage of the test match)

My favourite cricket joke concerns two old chaps (let's call them Bill and Bob) who made a vow to each other that the first one to die would return and let the other one know what heaven was like.

Anyway, the joke goes, Bill dies and returns in the middle of the night to tell a startled Bob what heaven is like.

Bill: "I have good news and bad news."

Bob: "Give me the good news first..."

Bill: "Ok, well there's plenty of cricket up there. They play on pitches better than Lord's and some of the all-time greats are happy to have you in their team. I played with my childhood hero today."

Bob: "Sounds brilliant, so what's the bad news?"

Bill: "The bad news is that they've got you down to open the batting tomorrow..."

 

'Doctor doctor, my wife thinks she is a cricketer'.

'How's that?'

'Don't you start!!'

 

To be honest this thread had me stumped, my first thought was its wide off the mark and i thought mmmm this could end up a right load of old balls, thinking things over i thought id attempt to knock you for six with my reply, so here it goes
i will run with it four a while, i could drop a googly and appear underhand, or i could come across as not giving a toss but i guess that may be a boundary to base my field of play on....i know from past experience that most comics bat off a sticky wicket when maidens are mentioned, so i will attempt to stay clear of any puns that follow silly points, i know im average and most of my scripts end up in ashes and can be short of a length or two.
Im not going to go steaming in as many a run as been stonewalled stranded or stangled and most yorkers can see through most trundlers such as i.

This may come across as unorthodox, yet delivery is inturn away of keeping one on track and thus avoiding giving anyone the yips so to speak.

This may sound like the tea towel method of explanation of if your in your out and when your out your in, however it does appeal to some targets although my stance may be a little off target, yes comedy at times can be a hard slogg and you have to spin it out take a short stop and take the rough with the smooth. Sometimes you may come up with a rib tickler other times you need a rest day and retire.

Its times like these i take a red cherry and a rabbit approach yes it can put me on the back foot but like most things in life unless you take a swing at it you will never know your corridor of uncertainty and lets face it ...you can check upstairs with the chinaman....howzat possible you may ask and i would say i will be the umpire the hawkeye and night watchman when it comes to cricket .....so until im challenged due to not knowing anything about cricket
I feel that all there is left to say is on the said subject is.....bye

 

Good grief, how long did that take??

 

Quite a read. So glad that's over.

 

all of 5 minutes to be honest i wrote it over lunch on my i pad....cough

 

Did you take an early lunch because it was raining?