BASEBALL <font class="tipsbodycopy">cap manufacturers. Save the wearer the bother of turning your caps round by putting the peak on the other side.</font></p> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0"><tbody><tr><td align="left"><font class="tipsheaderitalic">COMMUTERS.</font> <font class="tipsbodycopy">When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.</font></td></tr></tbody></table></p> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0"><tbody><tr><td align="left"><font class="tipsheaderitalic">MAKE</font> <font class="tipsbodycopy">your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs</font></td></tr></tbody></table></p> BOILED EGGS <font class="tipsbodycopy">cut in half vertically, and with the yolk removed, make ideal miniature porcelain-style urinals for hamsters and guinea pigs.</font></p> BIRD FLU <font class="tipsbodycopy">could be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lemsip or Daynurse to birdbaths. Obviously, you would have to put Nightnurse in the birdbaths for owls.</font></p> MANUFACTURERS <font class="tipsbodycopy">of Gilette razors. Leapfrog Wilkinson Sword's inevitable six-bladed resonse to your new five-blader, and immediately release a seven-bladed razor.</font></p>
hehe My mate brought it round the other day.</p> I've not read one for ages but this month has 2 quality stories in it.</p> Priceless.</p> Comic bit is old hat but the news stuff is fooking brilliant.</p> It might be our age love????</p> Hey it's nearly time for the chronicle pre lims for face of Barnsley. Pencil in our unofficial scoring days.</p> Piss funny.</p>
RE: hehe Haven't you seen this weeks supplement..... top dogs??! Bloody hell I was wondering if I was looking at the same photos as before!!!
From Viz? Hate to admit this though, but at work, I look thro' the womens magazines just for their tips; so much like ones you see in Viz. Best one, was a woman who said she used Beetroot for dying her lampsade, curtains and bedspread all the same colour of red. She got £25 for that! Bet it stunk though!
I've not bought todays. Tomorrow night we'll have a get together.</p> A dogs a dog.</p> Hey btw I had an impromptu rendezvous with last years winner (who we called a porno style bint!!!) in wombwell not long after.</p> it went, "Hey my names Terry Nutkins"</p> "**** off" was the answer.</p> The life of a critique eh?</p>
As long as we don't...... Start on the "Bonny babies" ..... I don't want any angry grannies knockin my door down.
Are you in the phonebook as Mrs Fired? Don't worry then although I am in as T Nutkins.</p> You wouldn't believe how many times I've been asked for a statement this week with Steve Irwin carking it.</p> Dearne Valley Weekender have been on all week.</p>
Billy the fish..... Just reminded me.... Was playing football in the garden with my 6 year old daughter.... plenty of banter going on, with me doing a load of commentary, and then she says to me.... "Mum, What is a Fish Like save?" ?? How the hell do you answer that?!!
Never again lose any of your posessions.. make them easy to find by simply attaching a long piece of string to everything you own. Then next time you need to find something just follow the string and hey presto!
