Ode to a fit Richard Kell by Richard Kell

I've been out on the training ground
and had a bit of a run around
But now it's time for Richard Kell
To test his leg out at Oakwell

 

My name is Kell
I've not been well
Since I fell
Fookin'ell

 

Richard Kell, Richard Kell
Shot in t'eye by William Tell
Brok is leg by fallin' orf
a snowy ledge in Obersdorf

 

I brok mi leg, but now its reight
I'm fit to play and ready to feight
Paying for me own meals, sarnies of pork
Cant wait fort'Xmas do in York.

 

I Signed for Barnsley back in May,
But broke my leg to my dismay,
I tried not to blame myself,
So worked hard to get back my health,
Now I'm fit and ready to show off,
So rich tea doesnt have to pick Nicky Wroe at Kick Off.

 

Richard Kell
Likes Jay's bell
Makes him yell
'flipping hell'

 

There once was a player called Kell
When his leg brok said oh f.uckin hell
He went on a stretcher
with some dirty old lecher
to Scnuthorpe General Hospital and now he is is well, or at least feeling a little bit better.

He wanted to sign for the reds
but fate dealt him a blow in the knackers
he said he'd be soon out of beds
and running around like a young lop.

Oh come on you reyt Richard Kell
we've waited for you since July
its time you forgot when you fell
and show us what you can do on a football field.

(With due deference to the Poet Laureate. My time WILL come)

 

There once was a player called Kell
Whose femurs were made out of gell
His fibs were all floppy
His tibias sloppy
And he had wobbly tarsels as well

 

Richard Kell
What's that smell?
You say you're fit?
What bullshít.

It's been months now
You still can't play
In not too long
You'll be on your way.

 

Richard Kell we aint seen him yet
so many people are trying to be a poet
when he first got hurt he couldnt drive his car
but in the championship next year he will score against a dee dar.