Ode to afternoons by Richard Kell

Afternoons come after morning
But listen up and heed this warning
When you've had a liquid lunch
Then interview a scary bunch
Interviewees get in a lather
When at their tits you do slavver.

 

Ode to the casting couch by Richard Kell

If you have an interview,
Here's a thing that you should do,
Sit up straight - don't be a slouch,
Then smoke it on the casting couch,
If the questions get too hard,
And the bloke's a dwarf retard,
Show some cleavage - but don't beg,
And soon he'll frotter down your leg.