Ode to being the best passer at the club by Richard Kell

You've waiting a while for me to get fit,
Shame no-one mentioned I'm ****.
Players mate for a boss, he's got me a deal
I'll light up this League like wee Alex Neil.

 

Ode to going missing by Martin Devaney

Fancy step over on the half way line,
A nice 3 year deal I did sign.
3 good games and 8 f.ucking **** uns,
I've got the bottle of two frightened kittens.

 

Sounded as if my pet dog could have played better

the only contribution he made was having a shot off target.

 

At last it's time for me to start</p>

I get the chance and play like a fart</p>

Legs just dicky  and so are me feet</p>

But the Gaffer likes to keep us all sweet</p>



(So I'll probably play again on Saturday!</p>

I love this Club, Me)</p>

 

Ode to spending 50 grand on Tommy Wright by Andy Ritchie

Please Patrick, dip into your bank,
The 5 strikers I have are all f.ucking w.ank.
Former England under 12 International, Tommy Wright, he's a snip,
From our non existent scouts I've got an inside tip.
Arrived amid expectation by all at the club,
12 open goals missed, 3 weeks later, he's a sub.

 

you should put them all in a book-sell like hot cakes-Ian McWho??

 

Ode to keeping his job, by Andy Ritchie

I like it here - don't want to be leaving,
Better tell Gord that we're over achieving,
Then when we lose & I'm asked for a reason,
I'll say ''it's the worst that we've performed all season'',
My tactics are baffling - I can't motivate,
I've 1 centre half - but up front I've eight,
A team full of girls - as soft as my wife,
If I keep fooling Gord I've a nice job for life.

 

I could see that being the latest rap in Barnsley !!

 

Ode to jelly spines, by Anderson Richtea

I'm sick of playing teams away,
2 hard games in just four days,
My boys are tired - it's just not funny,
This week they'll have to earn their money,
We'll get no cash - the ground is sparse,
In fact - I simply can't be arsed,
The glory of the FA Cup?
It's easier to just give up.

 

RE: Ode to being the best defence in the league

I've seen it all before,
Can't be bothered to go,
Colgan flapping,
Another nightmare show,
Then Carbon's concussed,
Replaced at half-time,
Fouls from Austin,
With timing sublime,
There's a gap in the field,
Where Hassell should be,
While Reid has the pace
to win a grand prix,
I shouldn't lament,
Take away my poisoned pen,
Because in two games time,
They'll all be heroes again.

 

RE: Ode to jelly spines, by Anderson Richtea

Nice little contract, nice little earner</p>

Been lolling abart on t' back burner</p>

Time for a game</p>

No longer lame</p>

Knackered and spent after just ten mins</p>

Staggering abart on me pins</p>

It's true there's nowt there in me tank</p>

Or is it because I'm feckin W**k</p>



(I'll still play on Setday tho' as Gaffer wants to keep me 'sweet!</p>

See yer all then.)</p>

 

Ode to BBS poets

I am very witty,
I want you all to see,
It's amazing what you can do,
With a rhyming dictionaree.

 

RE: Ode to success, by Anderson Richtea

I've set my targets for this year,
Like Mohammed Ali - I'm shaking with fear,
The squad I've built could get promotion,
But their sliding quick - like baby lotion,
My ugly vision of success,
Looks worse than Babsa in a dress,
I've organised a celebration,
For when we avoid relegation.

 

RE: Ode to success, by Anderson Richtea

Lol</p>

Love the rhyming couplet at the end.</p>

Trouble is you can see it happening!!</p>

 

Ode to BFC Managers, by Anderson Richtea

Picking mainly centre halves,
Made the BFC fans laugh,
Gudjon built right from the back,
Lost a few & got the sack.

Paul Hart brought in his own team,
Played just like my Auntie Jean,
One word answers to the press,
Got sacked, like my Uncle Jess.

In comes Richtea full of hope,
Spends his money on old rope,
His team of girls all want their Mothers,
He'll go the same way as the others.

 

RE: Further Ode to Kell

In for a penny, in for a pahnd</p>

Dodgy legs going rahnd and rahnd</p>

The Gaffer watches, thinks I do well</p>

So it's all hail to Richard Kell ( That's me!)</p>

At last a game to get me going</p>

But 10 minutes in and I'm towing</p>

I need a break -  aaah, no I don't!</p>

Play on Wing - no I won't</p>

I can do it - yes I can</p>

Despite last night when we were over ran</p>

I've got stamina and I've got power</p>

Over players I can tower</p>

I just need a break, you know what I mean,</p>

A chance of playing for the team,</p>

Then I'll show you what I really can do,</p>

Ok I accept I'm a pile of poo!!</p>

(I'm playing on Setday though  - Gaffer's just told me!!)</p>

 

RE: Further Ode to success, by Anderson Richtea

I'm learning me trade so gerroff me back</p>

As I'm not planning to get the sack.</p>

My tactics are fine and truly spot on</p>

But the pressure is strong and I've gorralot on</p>

The future is fine, The future is golden </p>

We'll work as a team me and me mate Holden</p>

Last night I didn't feel very very let darn</p>

And allowed the players a neet rahnd t' tarn</p>

Hope they enjoyed it and feel so rested</p>

Nowt to worry abart they haven't been tested</p>

Two days off now for them to rest</p>

Come back setday and yes, you've guessed</p>

A nice little performance of 'hoof it up high'</p>

and watch the points slip by and by</p>

Down the table we must go</p>

Nice and easy nice and slow</p>

The players here have cost a packet </p>

Nar to training and on wi' me jacket</p>

&quot;Good morning lads,  all well played&quot;</p>

Now watch our promotion hopes fade.</p>

I'll do me best I promise you that</p>

But last night I agree was a load of tat!</p>

 

The best Ode yet out of a good bunch I might add!!

 

Ode To Andy Ritchie

Good time's we've seen come and go,</p>

To the highest high to the lowest low,</p>

Spackman, Hendrie, Parkin, Bassett,</p>

I preferred Wilson when we liked to pass it,</p>

Now its Rich Tea and his mate Holden,</p>

Hoping to give us a season so golden,</p>

8,000 crowds are now the norm,</p>

So please try and hit some decent form,</p>

Go on Andy, prove us wrong,</p>

So the fans will return and sing you a song,</p>

At the moment we're poor and our defence is a farce,</p>

It's a good job League One is tighter than a duck's ass,</p>

So play it on the floor and that is your tip,</p>

To get us into the Coca Cola Championship.</p>



</p>

 

RE: Ode To Andy Ritchie

Lol