Ode to going to Yeovil, by Richard Kell

Asked to Yeovil by three reprobates</p>

The first has a face like Eric Gates</p>

The second has made a career in nursing</p>

The Heimlich manouevre she'll be rehearsing</p>

The third is the farmer, with his manky bone</p>

God save you from the contents of his phone</p>

But because their behaviour is so bad</p>

I'll be going there with me Dad</p>

 

And further :

Asked was I, by person dodgy

And a baldy one, belly podgy,

Told them I was busy, couldn't make it

DP weekend, both holes take it.

 

Pah....

Here am I being noble
Inviting you all to celebrate
All you infer is I'll be bent double
By the accompanying reprobates

 

RE: Pah....

That's your take on what I'm writing
It's a fair bet that TM'll be shiting
Ponty & Farmer, you in tow
Full of beer and rampant glow
I'll be grafting selling specs
Well away from deviant sex

 

RE: Pah....

<p align="left">Interesting rhyming structure - unusual for the work of Kell.</p>

 

RE: Pah....

You been in Geneva ?

With the Champions or Department S ?

 

Where you been hiding all this week?
Not a hide nor a hair nor a tiny squeak
Have you bean learning classical Greek?
Or buying bent clothes in a gay boutique?

 

No, missed out in the ticket draw...

...was one cap short, God damn it, which probably does my chances of Germany in.</p>

Just read the epitaphs thread - enjoyed that alot.</p>

 

He's been away on a course
Looking for men, hung like horse
You mention Greek, and it's been a while
But now he takes it, just Greek style.

 

Shame, but Sky or Telewest ?

Come on, state your position.

 

Greek style? Does that mean pouring yoghurt up your arse?</p>

Perusing Ponty's website I see they sell &quot;bi metal flanges&quot;. I couldn't possible comment on that.</p>

 

I think I've encountered some of those

They taste a bit iron-y.

 

I presume thats a no then chicken?

 

Greek style yoghurt is his choice
Mincing down Canal Street, high pitched voice
meaty sausage, corned beef from tin?
Prefers his ham, wafer thin

 

RE: Shame, but Sky or Telewest ?

Asking my preference of satellite?</p>

So long as they show Gay TV at night</p>

But whether it's terrestrial or cable</p>

The Full Ponty will still be &quot;differently able&quot;</p>

 

See you there? I'll introduce you all to me Dad.</p>

On second thoughts I may be hiding...</p>

 

I almost called you in early hours of Sundi when we were sat waiting for AA in Altrincham after Mr Ali's car broke down. Thought maybe 2am was a tad late tho.

 

I shall investigate his flanges.

Gip.

 

also check out 'solder ring fittings'

 

TM will introduce you to his dad
And if he fancies you, his little lad
Fun and games will be had in Yeovil
Sat in the cold, drinking bovril

Kell is flipping rubbish