Ode to the new BBS by Richard Kell

This here board seems far less gay,
And for it's service I would pay,
Just like my nights at the Omega,
Where Dirk gets smothered with dwarfega.

This place looks very handy.
I'd like to have it off with the new board.

 

Nice user ID

TM will be furious.

 

RE: Nice user ID

How do you get one of those?

 

He he he

I'm going to change it once TM has seen it.

You go into that there 'control panel' type thingy.
I'm a genius with these computers I am.

Come on - 'dwarfega'.
Where is the poison groined buffoon ?

 

Look at the top of the board

Under the logo, and you'll see a few options. One of them is control panel. Have a play about in there. Also, you'll see Inbox up there. Check that.

 

RE: He he he

Looks too much effort for this apathetic law monkey. Where's Scarthy these days? (waits for inappropriate bomb related response)

 

You have to be logged in and registered for control panel to show up like

 

Have it off with the board?

 

Well, he hasn't been heard of since

The selfish *******.

Is this TFP and Dirk?
(2gay)

 

I think Mrs Scarthy finally flipped ...

... and she gutted him with a stiff bathroom towel.

I've no idea where he is really.
I'm not mentioning the London thingy.
It would only blow up in my face.
Or summat.

 

RE: I think Mrs Scarthy finally flipped ...

There was a great story in the Observer yesterday about a bloke from Seattle who died after being bunned by a horse. Offical cause of death was "perforated colon". Christ, I'll say.

 

RE: I think Mrs Scarthy finally flipped ...

Clearly that should be loved not bunned to death

 

Yes.

I'd like to bum the board.
And stroke it's emoticons.
Then backscuttle it's control panel.
Then I'd like to frotter it's threads until they go off.

Nice picture, by the way.
Is that 'Rita' - the Austin Princess ?

 

Mmm.

Bunned to death.
With rock buns - or summat.

On the way to Alton Towers yesterday - I saw two cows having it off.
They were making a right job of it.
The black & white one was on top ... and the brown one was underneath.
My nephew said ''they're doing it doggy style'' ... to which I seriously coughed my Lemon Fanta down the windscreen.

 

If you say so

I put a piccy of a Crystal fish up to start with but Big and BABY Lil decided I'd to use Xena (or Mrs Weasley from HP) ff

 

No, bunned is much better

A horse throwing a load of cakes at a bloke.

I'm guessing the guy in question was complicit with the loving. Horses, for all their strength, cannot manoeuvre someone into position, remove his pants, open his cheeks, apply the lube and go for it.

 

How old is your nephew?

 

I bought the new Barry Pottler book on Setdi.

It looks ******* rubbish to me.

Just testing which swear words I can get away with.

 

I ordered a copy to be delivered for Laura

it didn't arrive so I had to go and buy a copy from town. Big Lil took it off her so he could read it first!

 

He's 10.

And looks 5 years older than Dillinger.

He watched Van Helsing on Setdi neet (yep - I know - it's a 12 certificate & he shouldn't be watching it) ... but rather than being scared he spent the whole film saying 'kwworrr - look at that Kate Beckinsale'.
I have never been so proud.