I'm off to the pub later, but can't get there until about 7. I hope some ******* is not sat in my seat.
Don't like pheasant, too much Hassell to eat. A game bird might be the way forward though, will persuade the wife to stop in.
The Gentleman's Guide to Etiquette and Peasants states you are entitled to shoot both the landlord and the aforementioned Peasants.
I only shoot peasants who are fat and/or smelly. I won't shoot the landlord, his services in connection with the supply of beer are far too important for that.
Would you shoot a peasant that was sat in or near your chosen seat at a football match ? If so, tyrone1 has a job for you
You jest, but... In the Edmunds Arms some have their own seats, and even if they haven't been in for a month, woe betide anyone who is sat in them. Earlier this year me 'n' or lass were sat in the tap room, at a table. We were on the bench against the wall. A party of four old chaps and chapesses came in. They got a round of drinks and sat at our table. Other tables were empty. One sat next to my wife on the bench, one sat next to me, the other two opposite on chairs. They never said a word to us. They just carried on talking to one another like we weren't even there. The most bizarre thing I've ever seen.
They're always shooting peasants down the road from us. Or is it partridges? I always get the two confused. You wouldn't want a peasant in a pear tree for Christmas though.
I would only shoot if the peasant's BMI was greater than 29 or he/she smelt of anchovies. If a game bird was sat in my seat, that would be an entirely different matter altogether.
The tree would probably snap as the weight of the fat peasant would be too much for its flimsy branches
A similar thing happened to me once. A group of about 6 of us, including a couple of posters on here, went into a pub in Grenoside, went to the bar and got our drinks, then went and sat down at an empty table. About 15 minutes later a mixed group came in and asked us to move as we were "sitting in their seats". Our response was to spread out even more, take ages to finish our drinks, then get another round in when we had originally intended to move on.
Also Also, in Germany, many bars have what they call a "Stammtisch" which roughly means "regulars table". Woe betide you if you sit at it. There's usually some kind of sign warning people off. It's not uncommon to find a packed bar, with people standing, but with an empty table in a corner which no-one dare occupy. On the other hand, to be invited to sit at the Stammtisch with the regulars is one of the highest honours ever to be bestowed on a foreign tourist in Germany.
In Darfield when my grandad was alive he used to drink in the Longbow. None of this namby pamby regulars table malarkey. Him and Cliff used to have a pog by the bar in the best side. Even when he wasn't in no one would stand in his place
Laughing. I can't remember that, but I'm guessing I must have been there. Or was it when I dropped you off, whilst I dropped the car off? God, my memory, and my eyesight are going....
In my local (which is one of the country's new breed of pubs designed to operate without customers) the landlady often sits on a bar stool on "our" side of the bar, but gets up to serve in the unlikely event of a customer walking in. Woe betide you if you happen to sit in "her" seat while she's serving. With hindsight, her seat is easy to spot because there's a half empty cup of coffee on the bar, along with a book of crossword puzzles that would fail to challenge even the thickest Jeremy Kyle guest.
You were there on the night but I suspect that you may not have been there when the incident happened. It was early on and I believe you were disposing of the car as you suspect. That peasant Hicksy was there though, I think.
Just got back Just got back from the pub. My seat was free, but after 5 minutes a game bird came in so obviously I gave up my seat for her. I shot 2 peasants, tied a partridge to a branch in a pear tree and ejected a fat smelly boke from a seat next to mine. Twas a good night, which enjoyed immensely despite not being able to sit in my usual seat.
