ok r8 then,this is the last1,a ctalogue of catatstrophies

Yes,it is a footy,related tale,and ends up ,with what every good angler would love to see b4 he/she goes fishing, Ive told you before,i am still only 5 ft 2,so imagine how tall i was,when i played for Birdwell Rovers in 16 to18 league when i was 14,and came acroos referees like Elija Benn,arthur Holland,then a season later played in the Barnsley asociation league,cant remeber winning a game,we lost9.6 at wombwell main,and the home supporters carried me to the lorry that took us every where, a coal lorry during the week a team bus on Sats,MEL EADES, cos i played a blinder....also at 14 went to Oakwell for a trial,and was told go home.and get some HOSS MUCK In THEE BOOITS. so it must come as no surprise that when i joinwd the Army, i got in the Regimental football team,and had a cushy training life training footy instead of Square bashing....BUT,,,army life was army life,and you could not change that.....NOW at Malvern where i did my training, the Barrack rooms were imaculate,Spit and Polish every where,did not do me any harm.....now imagine if you will,this barrack room ,floor like a skating rink a stove at on end,and another at the other end all glistening with polish to the roof......now when we did ur training,when we finished one thing,we were told i want you out here in 2 Mins dressed in what ever they said,you did at the treble, we had a lad called TUNNICLIFFE,and he was a left winger on Stoke city,s Books,now he was FAST, now it was our turn for a 48 hour pass,No,railway warrant,wich started 5 0 pm friday till sunday nught 23,59 hours...BUT this week end we were playing,a Qualifying round in the FA Cup,OH YES,one those qualifying rounds to Qualyfy..and we were to play a team in the BRUM area,....and me and a lad from W/BRIDGE called Williamson,were asked will you start you 48 pass after the game ends,and the lad TUNNICLIFFE.. now this day after the words i want back here in 2 Mins,me and The other 2 were going Footy training, but TuNNICLIFFE, wearing his army boots with studs in.dashed into the barrack room,full belt,he could not stop,he collided with the Stove at the far end CRASH,all the lot fell on him,broke both his legs,he was in a right mess,when they carried him out, Now came the day of the FA CUP game ,we drew 2 2, i dont remeber the replay,(SORRY).and me and Williams,Thumbed it HOME to Birdwell,and Bridge,we had our week end,and made our way back to camp,we were in good time we were fit,and no trouble gettin a lift,UNTIL,we got into a Wagon,and remeber its now Night time,and i happened to spot a road sign that said ALcester,not Worcester,we were going the wrong way, so we stopped some where near REDDITCH,and as good soldiers,we were still in goof time,we went to the POLICE station and asked them to report to our camp what had happened,,,,,Now would you belive it, the Seagant behind the desk,said where yo from,when i said Birdwell,he said do you know MR WRIGHT from Hill top.he is my Brother...well to cut this story Shrt, we arrived back at camp,on Monday morning,when all the other lads were going on parade,of Course we were spotted ny the RP,(regimental Police)he thought ive got a couple here in trouble,so he marched to the Office,he did nt know what had heppened ,he did not know the Colonel,was the Boss of the regimental footy team,did not know how Pleased he was with our oerformance on saturday,,,,,NOW whilw we were waiting to go in front of the Colonel,there was a Commotion in the Barrack room adjoining the Office ,so we went to see wots up.NOW lots of chap who were given nation Service,just refused to do it,they reported but they did all sorts of things to get kicked out,and here was one.....He use to PISS his BED on purpose, can you Imagine what the Commotion was about,Well Hold you breath,,,,,,i got there just as the Turned his Mattress over,and it was full of Maggots,Crawling about alive,Maggots, a anglers Delight.
Oh when we went to see the Colonel,we were still in good time, he said what you doing here...get ur yourselfs to footy training,,,,,,,we did not take the Piss,out of the RP ,no not while he was looking

Now i wont bother you with any more tales,
i dont want to distract you,from belaying the Present team and there performances, that i cant join in,i cant give an opinion on what i dont see, i take ,each and every word you say,and put it all to gether, and say to me sen..Yes they are peobably right
COME ON Barnsley......Wake up........