Subject: FW: Church Bulletins > They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with > typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or > were announced In church services: > ------------------------------------------------------ > The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon > tonight: "Searching for Jesus." > ------------------------------------------------------ > Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the > recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of > those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a > conflict. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at > Someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care > much about you. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving > Obvious pleasure to the congregation. > ------------------------------------------------------ > For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery > downstairs. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the > help they can get. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will > sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." > ------------------------------------------------------ > Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the > church. > So ends a friendship that began in their school days. > ------------------------------------------------------ > A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music > will follow. > ------------------------------------------------------ > At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" > Come early and listen to our choir practice. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of > Several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. > Proceeds will be used to cripple children. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased > Person you want remembered. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and > gracious hostility. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. > ------------------------------------------------------ > This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The school will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this > tragedy. > ------------------------------------------------------ > Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. > ------------------------------------------------------ > The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: > "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours" >
