Pocahontas to sign for Blades Sheffield Star 02.08.05 In a bid to tap into the massive Native American market, sheffieldUnited FC have made tentative steps to secure the services of Sioux Tomahawks' 123 year old striker "Potent" Pocahontas. In a special press conference held in the planed section of Laver's Chesterfield Rd premises, Colin Warmcock the Sheffield United manager, said he was "delighted and premature (?)" to be signing the centre half known for the plaits in her hair, "Its a double bonus because not only will she boost our average age even further than it already is, she's a striker and we were behind on our quota for the week". In further news from the odd shaped Bramall Lane, Warmcock also revealed that next seasons pre-season tour will take in the Moon, with a showpiece friendly in the sea of tranquility planned, the opposition is yet to be decided, but Warmcock wouldn't comment on the suggestion that it was all a publicity stunt in a bid to sell merchandise to the non-existant lunar population, Warmcock was said to be "thrilled and overweight" at the prospect.
