Remembrance Sunday 2005 (the whinges and ‘not so’ serious bits) Umbrage indeed!

Up at 515 this morning, left at 6 and arrived at Seathwaite about 830 – only to find dozens and dozens of vehicle already there. But, why oh why., when there is very restricted parking anyway, do people park half a car away from the next one, or at an angle that takes up the space at least 2 more vehicles. FFS you idle, self-centred w*nkers, park properly or just don’t bother even going. Had to walk at least an extra mile ‘cos of that.

Dog owners. Why do you take them to a Remembrance Service, on top of a mountain, with loads of other dogs around. Two minutes silence FFS, not a cacophony of whines, growls, yelps, “Sshh’s”,and “Sit”. Poorly trained dogs don’t do 2 minutes silence, you stupid selfish t*ssers. If you need to be accompanied on the walk, take your kids, or next doors, or anybodys, and then threaten em with death if they as much as murmur in the 2 minutes silence. If you can’t find any kids to take, then stay at home with yer snarling pet. Nearly spoilt the whole day for me.

Joggers, in your Ron Hill tracksters and fell running shoes with the go faster stripes. Why, on a day when hundreds of people are making their way carefully down the steep and slippery paths of Great Gable do you have to ‘practice’ fell running and barge people out of the way. FFS there’s 364 other days in most years to race up and down that mountain. If you can’t walk down at a leisurely pace then stay at home next year, selfish *rseholes. Got a bruised forearm now.

Scout groups and leaders – narrow paths are not the ideal place to hold your latest ‘meeting’, or stop to check where Roger is. Some of us are trying to walk, carefully, down the scree at the side of the blocked path but end up slipping on our collective *rse, just because you selfish p*llocks can’t be bothered to get off the path yourselves. FFS, if you can’t handle a group properly and have consideration for others, stay at home. Nearly ripped mi brand new trousers there.

Women drivers – FFS I could write for years on this one. When you signal right and the car behind sneaks down the inside, don’t, just don’t turn LEFT. And then say that you indicated right first cos you needed to swing out before turning left. Worse still don’t get all bolshy just cos you’re a woman and it’s, you know, that time. Stupid selfish bints, if you can’t handle cars or pmt, stay at home.

Motorway fast lane drivers, you know the 100mph ‘get out of my way’ w*nkers. FFS why can’t you pull over with everybody else when a lane is closed, instead of selfishly haring down the ‘closed’ lane till the last possible moment and then ‘cutting’ me up just to get that 2 seconds ahead. Either go on a motorway driving course or better still, stay at home next time.

Ford Focus drivers, especially you in the T reg light blue Ghia. Tailgating down the A65 and then pulling out to overtake the 3 cars in front only to find a frigging great juggernaut heading your way making you cut up the car in front (ME) is not in the Highway Code, least not in my edition. FFS you stupid, selfish, brain dead *rsewipe, you nearly got rid of a car full all at one go there. Either learn to drive properly or stay at home.

Taxi drivers (ethnically challenged ones anyway) – the Bradford Ring Road is not in Karachi or Mumbai, its in feckin Bradford and its well signed (although only in English!) with clear road markings. So FFS, why is it necessary to change lanes and then change back again and then again and then stop at a green light and ….. Jeez, you selfish, ignorant tw*ts. Learn how to read basic English road signs, or stop at home.

I had to chill out all the way home listening to the Stones and Chuck Berry. Would have been a nervous wreck otherwise.
Oh and talking about Chuck Berry, if you get a chance, listen to his version of “Reelin and Rockin” (he wrote the lyrics too). Chuck, you are a dirty, dirty old man.

 

Perhaps it would have been better for you to just stop at the top and feel superior from there.

 

not been such a wonderful day after all then..as you said nearest i'll get to a pilgrimage..stupid selfish tossers taking dogs / etc etc etc ..you would have been better of stopping in bed mate..not much chance of anybody bothering yeah there ?????

 

Great rant mate!

The dogs whining reminded me - I watched the ceremony from the cenotaph on BBC News, during the 2 minutes silence you could hear a seagull all the way through - couldn't hear it after the salute from the cannons though - wonder if they got it!