Searching for a new manager - the unofficial story. PART ONE:

Time: Day one after the sacking of manager K. Downhill
Location: Directors office, Bransley Football Club
Present: Director D. Lowing and Director B. Sailor




Sailor: I say Lowing, bit of a day yesterday! I think you did very well with the sacking and all that.

Lowing: Oh, yes dear chap. Never a pleasant thing to do but we had no choice, had we? We cannot be in the bottom three too long. If you are there at the end of the season, you will go down. Simple as that. So we had to act!

Sailor: I thought you did very well, especially that part about football being a result business. Couldn’t have put it better mesen!

Lowing: Oh yes, that… I must admit I was rather pleased with it too, You see, I heard it on the wireless the other day and I made sure I wrote it down straight away, if not you just forget, you know. That very impressive director over at Blackburn used just those words when he got rid of Merg or Herg or whatever his name was, some Scandinavian fellow…

Sailor (interrupts). Oh yes. I didn’t even know they played football in Scandinavia, thought it was covered in snow all the time, no wonder he couldn’t manage, haha!

Lowing: Yes, well, thankfully we can look to the future now. Tea?

Sailor: Oh yes please, that would be lovely!

((Lowing buzzes the intercom, asks secretary called Doris to bring two cups of tea, Doris arrives in office with a tray))

Sailor: So what do we do then, any candidates for the manager’s job?

Lowing: Well, yes, we have had a lot of appliances already, apparently. They must have come on telex and telefax yesterday, some on the computer as well I think. I’ve asked Doris to file them. There’s really no rush, is it? Tell you what, I have done some thinking about this, are we really sure we need a new manager? They are usually on some pretty hefty wages and I’ve been wondering many times what they really do for all that money. I mean: The players are all well paid, grown up professionals. Surely they are able to turn up for training and for the matches without a manager telling them to??? And we have a lot of different things we could spend the money on…

Sailor: Fascinating thought old chap… But I think there is a rule somewhere that we need to have one. I can ask Doris to find out on my way out. Maybe we should have a look at the appliances, just to make sure?

Lowing: Well, of course we could. Might be someone famous in there, haha!

((Lowing buzzes intercom again, asks Doris to bring in all correspondence about the managers job, and some more tea. Doris arrives with tray))

Lowing: Look, Doris has even made a summary with all the names on. There are at least five candidates here, no six. Not bad, eh?

Sailor: Very impressive. Any well known managers from –say – Premier League?

Lowing: Well, I am not sure really, I don’t know too many managers by name. But if you look at these three, I can have a look at the others.

((It is now very quiet in the office, both men are concentrating on reading, papers are being turned))

Lowing: Puuh, this is hard work. I wish they didn’t write so much about where they’ve been and what they have done. I’ve always thought the most important thing is to look to the future. Not dwelling in the past like this.

Sailor: Totally agree. And you know one other thing? All of my candidates seem to be out of job, they are not working as managers anymore!

Lowing: What? Yes, you are right… It is the same with mine as well! Blimey, if all these people are out of work, surely they must have been sacked too?!?

Sailor: I think you’re right…

Lowing: Well, then they are surely not the sort of people we are looking for. If we were looking for a manager who had been sacked, we might as well give Downhill the job back. At least we know him… No, these go into the bin. Not for us!

Sailor: True, true. No, I guess we have to look elsewhere… Maybe we should meet up again tomorrow and have a chat about it? I’m getting tired from all this reading, me.

Lowing: Me too. Surely it can wait for another day, it’s important not to rush things like these!

(( to be continued… ))