should we have signed bruce dyer?

he's strong, fast and most of all he's black.

 

What terms £8k a week and £900 a goal?

 

Oh and he can only run in straight lines and can't jump!
No brain to beat the offside trap.

 

Gaz would

 

RE: Gaz would

You only want Windass coz Sheron's not available.

 

Saw him at Portsmouth one year and he was unplayable. Like a black Ronaldo

 

I have a Sheron

he's called Chris and he's lickle and runs asfastas eecan.

 

during the world cup final of 98?

 

One word...........YES

 

didnt he swallow his tongue?

 

RE: Why not sign Winstanley whilst your at it?

I am sure you could drag him out of retirement!

 

but he's

white?

 

RE:We could?

Get baseball bats out and alter that.

Then he could be Black and Blue.

Would that count?

 

He was definitely unplayable, not sure why though.

 

Unplayable - like Alan Donald throwing grenades onto cobbles, or summat.

Alan: Good. Jill, is the answer to my original question, "Do you like me sex-wise?", is the answer
to that yes, or no? Quickly.
Jill: Yeah.

[Alan now steps proudly into the room, a big smile on his face.]

Alan: I’m Batman!

[Jill giggles. Alan leers at her and sighs deeply.]

Alan: Lion Bar?
Jill: No. I prefer fingers!
Alan: Uh! Chocolate ones?
Jill: I don’t mind, really!

[Alan makes a long, drawn out leering groan. Jill giggles.]

Alan: Jill, you are so dirty! It’s quite refreshing. You call a spade a spade. Actually you probably
call it a big tool.
Jill: So what are we going to do together, then? Norwich is our oyster.
Alan: Jill, do you like owls?
Jill: They’re quite nice, I suppose, yeah.
Alan: I know a cracking owl sanctuary. How about it? Unless you can think of anything better?
Jill: We could go shopping.

[Cut to a close up of an owl. It hoots. Alan and Jill are strolling beside the tethered birds in the
owl sanctuary.]

Alan: I like the Astroturf they place on the wood, there. It’s basically zero-maintenance grass.
Useful stuff.
Jill: Mmm.
Alan: You know, when I used to see you in reception,
Jill: Yeah?
Alan: Do you know what I used to think?
Jill: No.
Alan: I used to think "ooh, she’s nicer than my wife!"
Jill: Ah! That’s terrible! That’s a terrible thing to say, Alan!

[There is a short pause, then Alan strikes an exaggerated macho pose, with his hands on his hips,
and blows a raspberry.]

Jill: You’re mad, you are!
Alan: I know, I am a bit mad!

[Alan growls and pretends to claw her like a monster, then laughs. Jill screams playfully and leaps
away.]

Jill: [Squealing] Get off!
Alan: [Calling off-camera] It’s alright. No, it’s alright. I was just portraying a madman. Alright.

[Cut to close-ups of an eagle, a barn owl, then a vulture, then Lynn and Alan in a section of the
sanctuary where many varied birds of pray are tethered in a row.]

Alan: It looks a little like death row, doesn’t it? I’m sorry, Mr. Hawk. You’re pardon has been
turned down. You have been found guilty of pre-meditated homicide of a mouse, and you’ll be
hanged by the neck until dead. And don’t try to hover up so that the rope goes slack. Because
they could do that, couldn’t they? If you tried to hang a hawk, they could always hover so the
rope went slack. So, I suppose if you were going to execute a bird of prey the most humane way
would be death by firing squad.

 

Yes please.

There's been a distinct lack of 'skill' and 'effort' disguised as comedy finishing down at the 'Well.