THE 6 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2006 > SMART ARSED ANSWER 6 > It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: > "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. > "What are my choices?" the man asked. > "Yes or no," she replied. > > SMART ARSED ANSWER 5 > A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. > As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub." > > SMART ARSED ANSWER 4 > A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. > She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" > The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead." > > SMART ARSED ANSWER 3 > The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. > "I've been waiting for you all day," the bobby said. > The kid replied, "Yes, well I got here as fast as I could." > When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. > > SMART ARSED ANSWER 2 > A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead." > Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.. > Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. > The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?" > The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!" > > SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007 > A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. > "Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. > I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" > A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" > The entire class was reduced to laughter and s******ing. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
