Song for the Donny Rovers fans (meant in jest, obviously).

To the tune of ''Caravan of love'' by the Housemartins

Are you working?
Are you working?
Are you working?
Are you working?
Are you working, or just cleaning spoons?
You thick genetic buffoons,
You’re all *****
You’re all *****

Hand in hand you take your caravans
Onto private land
One by one you’ll destroy every site
Having drunken fights
Pissed up
Pissed up

From Edlington down to Bessacar
Your scruffy bin lids – selling heather

Now the people of the world can see
It’s the place where Pikeys like to be
The place in which they were born
Lice infested and torn apart

Every woman every man
Donny caravans will burn
(Light up) light up
Light up
Everybody take a match
Make sure that they catch – on fire
(Light up) light up
Light up

He’s a gyppo-ohhh
He’s a gyppo don't you know
She's a pikey-eehhh
She's a pikey don't you know

We were living in a world of peace
When six thousand turned up with disease
Burn the caravans
And the football stands – and Penneeeeh

Every woman every man
Donny caravans will burn
(Light up) light up
Light up
Everybody take a match
Make sure that they catch – on fire
(Light up) light up
Light up

He’s a gyppo-ohhh
He’s a gyppo don't you know
She's a pikey-eehhh
She's a pikey don't you know


Barnsley ready? (they’re coming)
Rotherham ready? (they’re coming)
Sheffield ready? (they’re coming)
Yorkshire ready? (they’re coming in their caravans)

You better get ready (for Pikeys)
You better get ready (for Gyppo’s)
You better get ready (for Penney)
You better get ready (they’re coming in their caravans)

* note - I do not in any way condone setting bloody caravans on fire - it's merely a bit of a laugh.
Just thought I'd point that out.

 

Isn't it about time

You did something with Jilted John by Jilted John?

 

I'll have a pop later.

I'm really proud of that last one.
It might not be funny - but the words actually fit & stuff.

What should be the theme of the jilted john one?
I obviously have no idea.

 

RE: I'll have a pop later.

How about cross dressing, furious masturbating, letter writing and accusations of 'shared' adultery ?

 

Consider it done.

I think I might mention stalking & motorbikes too.

The horrible little lovely person.

 

'Jilted John' - as requested by Jay:

To the tune of 'Jilted John':

(Johnny Babsa):
I've been stalking a Barnsley girl
Her name is Katie
But last night she texted me
While I was masturbating … furiously
(this is what she said)
She said listen John you retard
But there's this lad I fancy
He’s not a spotty cross dresser
So its the end for you and me

Who's this bloke I asked her
‘Fuuuuull Ponteee’ she replied
Not THAT ****** I said in dismay
Yes, but he's no ****** she cried - he's had intercourse with a real woman

(Katie):
Here we go, one, two, three bikes

(Babsa):
I was so upset that I tried to jump off the M1 bridge
But the rails were too high & Ponty was standing chuckling
And guess who was with him?
Yeah Katie - and Becks was laughing at me too

So then I wrote a letter
To young Katie's fatha
Saying that he’d been fiddling with her
And committing shared adultery

(Katie):
But I know he’s a moron, Babsa is a moron
Babsa is a moron, Babsa is a moron

 

love it

I can imagine duck face 'singing' it now.</p>

you have a pm by the way.</p>

 

I'll take your PM ...

... and raise you a glass of Iron Bru.

And spotty.
So technically a ''crispy duck face''.

I find it to be a bit fatty.

 

I've taken the iron bru and raised it an iron bru BAR

yes, a proper tangy iron bru bar. It can get no better.</p>

oh and eww</p>

 

I'll take your Iron Bru bar ...

... and raise you a sherbet fountain.

For some unknown reason I just really want to say:
''Snidey, snidey, snidey little reptilian tw4t''.

There.
That feels better.

 

I don't like sherbert fountains so i have decided to raise you a golden shower

lower than the poop deck of the titanic

 

Or possibly:

(Gord):
I've been running a Yorkshire club
It's name is Barnsley
But last night Noodles called me
While I was buffing up my face
(this is what he said)
He said ''listen Gord Shepherder
But we've lost three million quid
How did you work out that business plan?
Is your calculater knackered?''

(Gord):
Where the fecks the cash gone?
‘Donovan's contract’ he replied
Not THAT spacker I said in dismay
Yes, but he's no spacker he cried - he's made a fortune out of being useless

(Rib):
Here we go, too, free, fore

(Gord):
I was so upset that I phoned up Paddy
So he turned up at Oakwell with his piss poor comedy beard
And guess who was with him?
Yeah his cheque book - thank ****

So then I said to Paddy
''Here's my new business plan''
It's written in coloured crayons
On my beta-blocker prescription

(Paddy):
Gordon you're a moron, Gordon you're a moron
Gordon you're a moron, Gordon you're a moron


* I'd just like to point out that everything in the post above is meant merely in jest.
I'm just having a laugh & none of it is serious.
Honest.

 

I'm sure it would be quite good

If I had any idea how the song went!

Try some Slipknot next!

 

RE: Or possibly:

you are a talented songwriter indeed, caranan of pegs indeed....more