Song for Tyrone - just to lighten the mood on here :

WITH TYRONE AM I (to the tune of 'All Alone Am I' by Brenda Lee)
Sung by Mrs Tyrone ...

With Tyrone am I, and his IQ of 5
With Tyrone … and Albatoss by his side
We’re in separate beds – and his mate gives him head
I’m a beard – I’m just along for the ride

There’s no use in holding hands
For our marriage is a sham
There’s no use in kissing your lips
Cos you keep turning down my PAM

With Tyrone am I, but my life is a lie
With Tyrone … but he’s been loving his mate
People point & stare, but they just do not care
Closer than radiators & Terry Waite

No other bloke could be so thick
I mourn the day that we got wed
But I cannot just take my pick
Cos I ming – as Merde Tete said

With Tyrone am I, he’s scared of my hairy pie
With Tyrone … and soon he’ll have HIV
He’s a spackmoid puff, and I have had enough
Where’s the phone – I’m going to call TFP

 

The only good thing about that is....

...that you are familiar with the work of Brenda Lee.

 

Would you sing it to his face?

 

I've had it off with her.

She's my favourite artiste.
And her Brother, Sammy, was a reyt laiker ... and is 2 feet taller than Dirk.

 

Yes.

About 12 seconds before he smashes my head in with a baseball bat.

I obviously mean every word.