Strange post this one but here goes....

I've just spent about 15 minutes talking to a person, face to face, and I cannot say whether it was a man or a woman.
He/she had the face of a 70 year old man, wizzened, pock marked, bulbous red nose.
He/she had a pony tail down the back, coloured blond.
He/she was wearing 3 inch long jewelled pink earrings.
He/she had, or appeared to have, boobs.
He/she was wearing striped knee length stockings over jeans.
He/she was wearing highish heeled shoes.
He/she spoke with a man's voice, but quite soft in tone.
He/she was very friendly and as helpful as could be in advising me about model railways in his/her shop.

I'm very, very disconcerted because I didn't know how to behave... and certainly didn't know where to look for confirmation !

And I certainly didn't ask !

 

Sounds like an "eight pinter"...

 

Young Nudger?

 

What appears to be more worrying is that you were in a shop talking about model railways.

 

Where was this? Because this is a true story, I have never told anyone.

About 2 years ago, I was living in a flat overlooking Muswell Hill Broadway in north London. Out for hour on a Saturday afternoon, then heading back to listen to the match. Approaching front door which is onto the street and I've lost my keys, I'd earlier been back to quickly drop something off and unknowingly left them in the door. So I'm hanging around on the street wondering what I've done with them and how I'm going to get in when the door opens and the fella much you just described was standing there with my keys. He explained he saw them in the door and thought he'd hang on til someone got back!! Wtf!! Not a big bloke, he had this black leotard top thing on, hairy chest and arms, prison tat or two and yes, PROPER TITS!! A very gentle and friendly manner, but I just couldn't stop looking at 'em. I'm a bit phased because this character has been over the threshold of my gaff, but he did seem genuinely helpful. Then he toddled off, into the rain and I remember he was dragging two shopping trollies/walkers, which I assumed carried all his worldlies inside. Saw he mooching about the Broadway a couple of times afterwards, homeless fella passing through I surmised.

Never told a soul that til now, not even in the pub. Fck, I would have been murdered for that in my boozer. Still, someone else must have noticed or had contact with this fella, you couldn't miss him.

Wonder if it was the same person. I can't see them owning a model railway shop.

 

Sounds like mi younger bruver..........you can tell us apart cos my hair's permed

 

I wouldn't worry, someone at our work was thought by most staff to be a man. Got awkward at away days when hotel staff called her Sir and we had to keep straight face