taking a **** on company time

i don't specifically condone this sort of behaviour but in my current job (temporary tele marketing) i feel i need to just to stop me from hanging myself.

please tell me, is there a worse job?

i'm a happy person and it's soul destroying even to me! i actually had to change my "men-stool cycle" to accomodate this time-wasting act...that's how bad the job is.

maybe that's why barnsley folk are chucking themselves off bridges

 

just been for a company **** - 9 minutes long

nice one

 

RE: just been for a company **** - 9 minutes long

yeah i think i've been in there for longer...it's even better because i work mainly with women so they can't exactly come in checking where i am.

today i woke up and felt like i was going into labour (with mudchild) and purposfully saved it for when i got to work...however i must have tried to hard and in the end it ruined my day because i arrived at work and no longer needed a dump.

so i was forced to make up a **** excuse and leave work early for the day.

 

That's nowt.

I've loved a goat in company time.
Today.

It was, like, totally awesome.

 

RE: That's nowt.

hehe

 

It was, like, totally awesome.

is that a quote from the goat?

 

9 minutes

a nine minute dump would earn me 49.5p.

not bad really, i'd love to get paid 49.5p everytime i take a ****.

 

No.

Twas from the American film crew.

I'm going to be on "America's greatest goat chases", "Billy, don't be a hero" & "Saturday Night Live Goat loving".

I thought I was in the wrong hole ... as they kept saying I was loving the goats fanny, or summat.

 

Any **** weighing over 1lb must be lowered by hand: HSE.

 

RE: Any **** weighing over 1lb must be lowered by hand: HSE.

to avoid splashback?

 

Correct, splashback can blind, be sure to wear goggles and ear defenders.

 

Oh, and a HI VIS vest, and have someone redirect traffic.

 

mystery dumps

Ring splitters but nowt to flush.

Wazzatallabart?

 

hazard to shipping

sent when ever the bog is flushed at sea !

 

sounds like

loving. You've been loving. You ******.

 

Phantom *****...............

A mate of mine used to work on the Railways, and his pal was as regular as clockwork, shitewise, any way, they followed him one morning to a secluded spot and watched him squat down for a crap, quietly one the chaps sneeked up behind him and placed a shovel under his arse, when the shiter had finished the lad with the shovel fecked off, complete with Mr WHIPPY turd.
Well, everybody looks to see if the outcome is satisfactory, imagine the look on his face upon turning round and finding nothing but undisturbed ground, and a lingering smell, when he returned to the snap cabin, they say his face had a look as if someone had asked him to multiply 987634.8 x 348675.2.

 

stealth dumps

all the evidence is in the pan but when tha wipes.....

nowt !

v strange

 

RE: Phantom *****...............

cos youd never notice someone sticking a shovel under your arse !!

 

RE: Phantom *****...............

 

Is that Limahl?......