TFP's post about BFC & Association Football ...

Reyt then.
I know **** all about this here football thingy, as I have very little interest ... but as a neutral - here's what I think about the current BFC squad:

Don't have a pop at my classification of people positions - as I realise some players can laik all over the shop.
I see us as a squad of 19 players ... broken down as follows:

GK - Flinders & Colgan
RB - Austin & Tonge
LB - Williams
CB - Hassell, Reid, Carbon, Vaughan & Kay
RM - Shuker
CM - McPhail, Burns, Kell & Wroe
LM - Howard
CF - Nardiello, Hayes & Conlon

My analysis, which is *****, goes like this :

GK - Flinders is young lad who will make many mistakes but has wads of potential. Colgan is a Deaconoid who couldn't catch bum AIDS in a room full of homosensual needle sharing AIDS sufferers.
RB - Both Austin & Tonge can do a job.
LB - Williams will probably be used on the left wing - which will throw Austin or someone in at left back. Williams isn't good at left back anyway. Area of significant weakness.
CB - 5 centre halves & not a leader among them. Reid - slow, Carbon - injured, Vaughan - mental, Kay - mistake prone & Hassell - dwarf. We will concede many goals in this area.
RM - Shuker will be fine ... but who will play there if he gets a knock?
CM - Still not sure what Burns is. Not really an agressive ball winner - but not creative either ... serves little purpose. McPhail is quality - but needs protection ... which hopefully the unproven & balsa legged Kell will give him. Wroe should be playing Sunday League.
LM - Howard has always impressed me ... but he is injured & does not cover much ground when fit - which worries me as we don't havea decent left back.
CF - Nardy has class - but will play his usual 20 games & score 10 times. Hayes will either get 5 or 25 ... again a big risk. Conlon will get in the way a bit.

In summary:
GK - Not got an established keeper.
DF - No left back & a bunch of Spackers in the middle.
MF - Still can't see a system that would work ... and no cover.
CF - None of them have ever scored plentifully in this division.

Basically I think we are going to struggle badly.

To get out of this division you need one of two things - (1) a well organised team of battlers with a good defence or (2) a team who have proven strikers who will fire you out of trouble.
Last season Wednesday were the battlers & Luton were the scorers. We are neither.

As I've said - I know **** all about footy - and I honestly hope that a miracle happens & this bunch of lads all of a sudden become something they have never been before & march us to promotion.

I can't see it.
Bottom 4 finish - if we are lucky.

And you are all bummers.

 

Reyt then.
I know **** all about this here football thingy, as I have very little interest ... but as a neutral - here's what I think about the current BFC squad:

Don't have a pop at my classification of people positions - as I realise some players can laik all over the shop.
I see us as a squad of 19 players ... broken down as follows:

GK - Flinders & Colgan
RB - Austin & Tonge
LB - Williams
CB - Hassell, Reid, Carbon, Vaughan & Kay
RM - Shuker
CM - McPhail, Burns, Kell & Wroe
LM - Howard
CF - Nardiello, Hayes & Conlon

My analysis, which is *****, goes like this :

GK - Flinders is young lad who will make many mistakes but has wads of potential. Colgan is a Deaconoid who couldn't catch bum AIDS in a room full of homosensual needle sharing AIDS sufferers.
RB - Both Austin & Tonge can do a job.
LB - Williams will probably be used on the left wing - which will throw Austin or someone in at left back. Williams isn't good at left back anyway. Area of significant weakness.
CB - 5 centre halves & not a leader among them. Reid - slow, Carbon - injured, Vaughan - mental, Kay - mistake prone & Hassell - dwarf. We will concede many goals in this area.
RM - Shuker will be fine ... but who will play there if he gets a knock?
CM - Still not sure what Burns is. Not really an agressive ball winner - but not creative either ... serves little purpose. McPhail is quality - but needs protection ... which hopefully the unproven & balsa legged Kell will give him. Wroe should be playing Sunday League.
LM - Howard has always impressed me ... but he is injured & does not cover much ground when fit - which worries me as we don't havea decent left back.
CF - Nardy has class - but will play his usual 20 games & score 10 times. Hayes will either get 5 or 25 ... again a big risk. Conlon will get in the way a bit.

In summary:
GK - Not got an established keeper.
DF - No left back & a bunch of Spackers in the middle.
MF - Still can't see a system that would work ... and no cover.
CF - None of them have ever scored plentifully in this division.

Basically I think we are going to struggle badly.

To get out of this division you need one of two things - (1) a well organised team of battlers with a good defence or (2) a team who have proven strikers who will fire you out of trouble.
Last season Wednesday were the battlers & Luton were the scorers. We are neither.

As I've said - I know **** all about footy - and I honestly hope that a miracle happens & this bunch of lads all of a sudden become something they have never been before & march us to promotion.

I can't see it.
Bottom 4 finish - if we are lucky.

And you are all bummers.

 

Good, accurate summary

which surprises me since you seem to spend most games queuing up for a pie and/or gobbing off at the stewards, you mustve caught a glimpse of some football somewhere along the lines.

tykeman wont like it mind..

 

Good, accurate summary

which surprises me since you seem to spend most games queuing up for a pie and/or gobbing off at the stewards, you mustve caught a glimpse of some football somewhere along the lines.

tykeman wont like it mind..

 

Nah.

Bloke in the pub told me all that.
I'm just taking credit for his crappy opinions.

I'm even more worried now I hear we are trying to sign Linda Hamilton & Callista Flockhart.

I only went to the Open Day to see if they were selling pies.

 

Nah.

Bloke in the pub told me all that.
I'm just taking credit for his crappy opinions.

I'm even more worried now I hear we are trying to sign Linda Hamilton & Callista Flockhart.

I only went to the Open Day to see if they were selling pies.

 

Stop away go to hillsborough not a proper fan.


Where's 4 page Jay when you need him ?

 

Stop away go to hillsborough not a proper fan.


Where's 4 page Jay when you need him ?

 

Overheard conversation at the Open Day:

TFP: "How much to go down the inflatable slide mate?"
Bloke: "No chance pal."
TFP: "Why not? I'll take my shoes off."
Bloke: "Its not for fat ******, you'll bust it."
TFP: "Cheers then."

you and the Farmer off to Scunny?

 

Overheard conversation at the Open Day:

TFP: "How much to go down the inflatable slide mate?"
Bloke: "No chance pal."
TFP: "Why not? I'll take my shoes off."
Bloke: "Its not for fat ******, you'll bust it."
TFP: "Cheers then."

you and the Farmer off to Scunny?

 

I just hope my 'analysis' will be discussed over the dinner table in the Midlands this evening.

Jay would have dragged that out for many pages.
All of which would have been total ballax.
My clagnuts know more about football than he does.

And I'd just like to point out that I am not a real fan.
I am a computer generated buffoon.
I was designed in the Microsoft Spack-cess database.
Although I normally use the Urban package - Microsoft 'Word to ya Muther'.

 

I just hope my 'analysis' will be discussed over the dinner table in the Midlands this evening.

Jay would have dragged that out for many pages.
All of which would have been total ballax.
My clagnuts know more about football than he does.

And I'd just like to point out that I am not a real fan.
I am a computer generated buffoon.
I was designed in the Microsoft Spack-cess database.
Although I normally use the Urban package - Microsoft 'Word to ya Muther'.

 

You're back being the old TFP before attention deficit disorder kicked in.

 

Was more like :

Mrs Ponty : 'If you start Irish dancing I'm going to hide in the car'
TFP : 'I have the keys love'
Mrs Ponty : 'Not after I've kicked your ballax in you haven't'
TFP : 'I'll not bother with the dancing then, bitchflaps'

Depends if he's playing that game with the bat & ball still.
I will be there.
Witcockart.

 

You're back being the old TFP before attention deficit disorder kicked in.

 

Was more like :

Mrs Ponty : 'If you start Irish dancing I'm going to hide in the car'
TFP : 'I have the keys love'
Mrs Ponty : 'Not after I've kicked your ballax in you haven't'
TFP : 'I'll not bother with the dancing then, bitchflaps'

Depends if he's playing that game with the bat & ball still.
I will be there.
Witcockart.

 

Do you use Microsoft Explorer?
Can you think of anyone who would use Microsoft Photo Editor?

The fact is - I am a football, sex & fashion God.
That's why I support a 3rd division team, last 20 seconds on the body & wear pink doilys.

You want to be me.

 

Do you use Microsoft Explorer?
Can you think of anyone who would use Microsoft Photo Editor?

The fact is - I am a football, sex & fashion God.
That's why I support a 3rd division team, last 20 seconds on the body & wear pink doilys.

You want to be me.

 

Don't like where you're going with this

 

Don't like where you're going with this