The Ballad Of....Phil Jevons

How can I object to you
if you score four times in an afternoon?
Phil, your boots are white
but if you fill your boots like that, we'll forgive that *****
Your finishing was really quite sublime
The Barnsley fans were leaving at half time
A Scouser's work is never done
and when you signed from Everton
you scored a gem at Liverpool
but got yourself shipped out on loan to Hull
A lazy sod or just a nervous wreck?
A 35-yard millstone round your neck
And you and me are just a pair of slackers
We're gonna carry on until they sack us
Four grand a week with bonuses
I would say the onus is
on you to justify that salary
It took a run in the reserves to make you see:
motivated not by Groves but fear
Scoring goals and saving your career
You shrugged your shoulders as the Mariners went down
and then you buggered off to Yeovil Town