The Big Christmas Question.

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board' started by StatisTYKE, Dec 21, 2022.

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  1. StatisTYKE

    StatisTYKE Well-Known Member

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    In a desperate (and probably doomed) attempt at light-heartedness …

    “When you were little, what did you leave out for Santa before you went to bed?”

    Me - glass of sherry and a mince pie.

    Urgent message for all scientific fundamentalists: I KNOW SANTA DOES NOT EXIST. Just going back to a more innocent time when our parents poisoned our minds with fairy tales* about an imaginary man while we were celebrating the birth of another man who founded a religion responsible for the deaths of millions.

    Santa will be handing out presents to anyone who can get Corbyn, Brexit, racism or woke into this thread.

    *Fairies don’t exist either.
     
    StatisTYKE, Dec 21, 2022
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  2. ATY

    ATYKE1 Well-Known Member

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    Whisky
    Mince Pie
    Carrot - for Ruddolph
     
    ATYKE1, Dec 21, 2022
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  3. I'm Spartacus

    I'm Spartacus Well-Known Member

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    Sadly my belief in Santa was cut short on my third Christmas when a very pizzed dad fell base over apex delivering my pressies.
     
    I'm Spartacus, Dec 21, 2022
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  4. Brush

    Brush Well-Known Member

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    Glass of sherry and some carrot tops.
     
    Brush, Dec 21, 2022
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  5. Gravy Chips

    Gravy Chips Well-Known Member

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    I was very confused one Christmas morning when the carrot I’d left out for Rudolph turned up in the toilet with chunks missing out of it.

    Many years later was told the dog was the culprit. Why he felt the need to put it in the loo I’ll never understand. He was a strange dog.
     
    Gravy Chips, Dec 21, 2022
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  6. tyk

    tykesfan Well-Known Member

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    Glass of milk and a mince pie, however, every year I got Action man deserter (empty box). I stopped leaving stuff out when I left school!!
     
    tykesfan, Dec 21, 2022
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  7. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    How chuffin well dare you. :mad:
    They both exist. ASK MY GRANDKIDS. And Corbyn.
    I just hope Santa gets a visa/work permit to get into the uk. (Brexit and all that).
    Some of the elves who I wanted to help santa. were of African persuasion. But the Racists kicked off. Does that about cover all the requirements of getting my presents.
    3 points on Monday please Santa.
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2022
    Hooky feller, Dec 21, 2022
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    Brush, ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon and Slightly Balding like this.
  8. sadbrewer

    sadbrewer Well-Known Member

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    I used to leave six bottles of Guinness and a large bag of Quavers....it was my dad's suggestion.
     
    sadbrewer, Dec 21, 2022
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  9. StatisTYKE

    StatisTYKE Well-Known Member

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    Certainly does Mr Hooky Feller. The imaginary big man's imaginary presents are on your doorstep now. He doesn't mess about.
     
    StatisTYKE, Dec 21, 2022
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  10. Mr Badger

    Mr Badger Well-Known Member

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    Glass of sherry and a mince pie.
    (Are we allowed to say "mince" now?)
    And a long woollen sock hanging from the fireplace for the orange, apple and nuts.
     
    Mr Badger, Dec 21, 2022
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  11. lk3

    lk311 Well-Known Member

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    Be disappointed if we don’t get a @Stephen Dawson type reply for this.
     
    lk311, Dec 21, 2022
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  12. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    A fire extinguisher. :eek:
     
    Mr C, Dec 21, 2022
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  13. StatisTYKE

    StatisTYKE Well-Known Member

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    Well spotted. I lay my traps carefully...
     
    StatisTYKE, Dec 21, 2022
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  14. StatisTYKE

    StatisTYKE Well-Known Member

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    Mince. A bit Larry Grayson or Mr Humphries but I think we'll just about get away with it.
    Yes, apple, orange, nuts (brazil in our case) and a big owd shiny penny.
     
    StatisTYKE, Dec 21, 2022
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  15. ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon

    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon Well-Known Member

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    I thought the big Christmas question this year is...

    ...what is Santa's prefered pronoun? :rolleyes:
     
    ronnieGlavinsB@stardSon, Dec 21, 2022
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  16. tosh

    tosh Well-Known Member

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    If you had said cans instead of bottles I wouldn't have believed you.
     
    tosh, Dec 21, 2022
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  17. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    A mince pie, an some carrotts for the reindeers.
     
    Winker, Dec 21, 2022
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  18. Hooky feller

    Hooky feller Well-Known Member

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    Santa gets a Percies at mine.
    And Chuffin carrots fot reindeers. . They are sick of the sight of em.
    Reindeer eat mosses, herbs, ferns, grasses, and the shoots and leaves of shrubs and trees, especially willow and birch. In winter, they make do with lichen (also called reindeer moss) and fungi, scraping the snow away with their hooves to get it. An average adult reindeer eats 9 to 18 pounds of vegetation a day.
     
    Hooky feller, Dec 21, 2022
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  19. I'm Spartacus

    I'm Spartacus Well-Known Member

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    Well known that Santa eats all the carrots, mince pies, etc. and Rudolph sups all the booze, hence the red nose...
     
    I'm Spartacus, Dec 21, 2022
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  20. Winker

    Winker Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for educating me i'll be sure to tek the granbairns oveer the willow bank on Xmas eve to dig up 18 pounds of mosses, herbs, shoots, leaves, shrubs, and a bit of bark. Not sure they'll be too impressed, but hey ho it's only gunner happen once a year. Only joking MERRY XMAS ONE AN ALL.
     
    Winker, Dec 21, 2022
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