The Truth will out about the Hartog set (bad language within)

I think I've got to the bottom of it. It's taken time, but it's a story of paranoia, jealously and madness and TFP obviously.

[Dirk via email to Jay]
I don't know dude...
I think everyone's all jealous and **** cuz I'm like the leader of a set dude...
And I think everyone's got a fu**in problem with me dude...
And they need to take it up with me later...
Because...

[DIRK Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my set...
But they're all on me like they wanna get wet...
Cuz once I PAM they know that i'll be the man ...
All because I'm the leader of my gang...

[Verse 1 - DIRK]
So I get off at old town and I hide my bike
Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like
"Sup ladies, my name's Dirk baby.
I'm the ring leader in D4…..maybe"
They're all like "Oh my god it's him"
"Can we go back to the Hillards box and rim"
"I swear to fu**in god dude you fu**in rock"
"Please Dirk please let me suck your lovely personk"
And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous
Especially when I drop the keks and show my acapellas
All the chicks start yellin' and all the hot babes
Throw their bras, their shirt and their panties my way
So like every single night they pick a fight with me
But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Cuz they're back in the shadows the next night with me
Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me
Yesterday TFP tried to pull a knife on me
Cause I told him Alityke is my wife to be
This super star ****, it's the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me… because

[Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my set...
But they're all on me like they wanna hold get wet...
Cuz once I PAM they know that i'll be the man...
All because I'm the leader of my gang...
My band [x6]
AliTyke
My band [x2]

[Verse 2 - Jay...spiralling into madness]
You just wanna see some justice don't you?
Hey rib how come we can’t talk to you
Smash these rules and stop wielding power
I live on a sofa and you’re in a tower
and you now want my details, you’re delirious
And no I'm Jay not Yahoo Serious
……and what’s the hell is wrong with diet pal
Cuz my **** is lookin smaller than a decimal
See I know how to cook, see it's simple but
All I did was read a fanny craddock book
So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map
Doin' jumpin jacks while I this get spoff off my back

[Verse 3 – TFP and TM]
Look at Dirk little punk ass thinkin' he’s the top
I know man and now he’s taking on a new shop
Hey I thought we had an interview with Journo Tyke
(DIRK:] No I’ve had the interview and get off my bike)
You gonna be late for the BBS
Man I ain't goin' on the BBS
If Dirks’ not posting man, I’m taking a rest
You know what, I'm a say something ‘get off my chest
Hey yo Dirk
(DIRK:] You got somethin to say?!)
Man no
I thought you bout to tell him off, what's up
Man I'm a tell him when I feel like it, man shut up
And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be crew
When I was bout to talk right after you
I swear, I swear man

[Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my set...
But they're all on me like they wanna get wet...
Cuz once I PAM them they know that i'll be the man...
All because I'm the leader of my gang...

[Verse 4 - TM]
They say that leaders rock, but this set does not
It’s all gone pete tong and I can’t stop the rot
I'm wanna let the world know and this proof is hot
just as soon as I’ve got Dirk back we can hatch a plot
Ready to snap at any dumbass fan
Every time i hear (hey dude he’s a really nice man)
We ain't a gang bitch we gave it up for lent
So how’s he get a new shop while my arse is up for rent
And these guys they can find every area code
(Dirk) TFP carry my jonnies
Bitch carry your own jonnies
Can't make it to BBS, security in my way
(Who the **** are you? Where's Roundsman and Jay?!)

[Verse 5 - TFP]
Goddammit I'm sick of this gang
Time for me to go solo and get myself some PAM
I told you I made the jokes and wrote all the raps
Till TM gagged and bound me and slipped it in my crack
That owl from Sheffield, I was in the back
That bird from Livingstons I took her from the back
F**k D4, I got some suggestions
F**k DIRK, ask me the questions
Like who's D4, how we got started
(What about Dirk?)
B*tch are you retarded?
Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group
Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute (hey sexy)
Wifey told me to do situps in the buff
I did two and a half and then I couldn't get up
F**k D4, I'm outta this set
I'm gonna start a new set with that deacon get

[Dirk]
Girl why cant you see your the only one for me
and it just tears my ass apart to know that you don't know my name...
[Chorus]
These guys don't even know the name of our set...(ha ha)
But they're all on me like they wanna get length...(**** Dirk)
and once I PAM them I know that i'll be the man...
All because I'm the leader of my gang...
My Band [Repeated 9x]

[Outro]
The hottest gay set in the world...
D1!
[TFP]
I'm the leader of my own gang, I get all the girl's to take off their underpants
And the leader of my gang….deacon, spack, spoff……erm spadge
Makes all the pretty girl's want to watch me dance
My spoff, look out for my next single, it's called
‘My’ Hillards Box...
My spoff, spoff, spoff, spoff, hey spadge
Makes all the pretty girl's want to watch me dance
And take off their underpants
My spoff makes all the pretty girls want to dance
And take off their underpants, my spoff
(Where'd everybody go?)

 

Howling like a spoiled 9 year old girl ...

''And no I'm Jay not Yahoo Serious''

That's the best thing I've read for ages.

 

you sir

have too much time on your hands

 

RE: you sir

excellent.

Is that an official knighthood?

 

Even better

I'm officially no longer part of that shower

 

RE: Even better

You were clearly on the drums.

My apologies, I ran out of time and verses and memory on my PC.

If you're precious, I can edit it and write a special verse for you. Just give me 9 days..

 

It's the official Hartog Set

too much time on your hands seal of approval.

I see that Mr Dillinger seem to have been omitted from the set.

 

RE: Even better

no no, for Christ sake don't drag me into it

 

RE: It's the official Hartog Set

he was drumming and a bit of human beat box. At one point he did a back spin as well.

He's like Bez.

 

RE: It's the official Hartog Set

Aye, but more creaky dancing than freaky dancing