The worst excuses in the world?

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by SuperTyke, Jan 18, 2012.

  1. SuperTyke

    SuperTyke Well-Known Member

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    My dog ate my homework. - Everyone



    It's my first day - Homer Simpson

    The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. - Eve

    but at the top of the list, we have a runaway winner, it's 'Captain' Schettino with "I tripped and I ended up in one of the boats"
     
    SuperTyke, Jan 18, 2012
    #1
  2. big

    bigdave8322 Active Member

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    Our fans sang better than yours (after a defeat)
     
    bigdave8322, Jan 18, 2012
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  3. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    Anything by Sir Norman Fry
     
    Merde Tete, Jan 18, 2012
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  4. KFC

    KFC Well-Known Member

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    And now from the BBC:

    "The captain reportedly told the investigating judge in the city of Grosseto that he had decided to sail close to Giglio to salute a former captain who had a home on the Tuscan island."

    Aye, that's the sort of thing you do when you're in charge of a ship that big
     
    KFC, Jan 18, 2012
    #4
  5. Dav

    DavidCurriesLoveChild Banned Idiot

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    i have a headache. heard most evenings unfortunatley
     
    DavidCurriesLoveChild, Jan 18, 2012
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  6. rot

    rothred Active Member

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    My spelling and grammar is so bad because...

    I'm using my iPhone
     
    rothred, Jan 18, 2012
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  7. EastStander

    EastStander Active Member

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    Re: My spelling and grammar is so bad because...

    Wikipedia was down!
     
    EastStander, Jan 18, 2012
    #7
  8. Archey

    Archey Well-Known Member

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    My brother once confused a field full of horses with cows and for some reason...

    Claimed he made the mistake because his bike had a puncture?

    If you can't blind em with science, baffle em with ********.
     
    Archey, Jan 18, 2012
    #8
  9. fir

    fired Administrator Staff Member Admin

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    I once had a University student on work placement

    Day 1 (already an hour late) rang up to ask which train he should catch from Leeds, and where he should wait to be picked up, for the final 3 miles of his onward journey.
    Day 2 Rang at 8.30am to ask if he was needed today, because his girlfriend was off to Australia for a month, and he'd like to be able to see her off.
    Day 3 Rang up to ask where to get off the bus in Ossett.

    One day, later into his placement, he rang to say he couldn't get into work, because his girlfriends's sat nav had packed in, and he didnt know how to get to the M1.

    He lived in Leeds!!
     
    fired, Jan 18, 2012
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  10. Eaststand Lower

    Eaststand Lower Well-Known Member

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    Re: I once had a University student on work placement

    The cup run is the reason we are near the bottom of the table.


    No Simon your just a sh.it manager
     
    Eaststand Lower, Jan 18, 2012
    #10
  11. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    The ref gave us nothing today, at least 4 of their six goals looked offside to me
     
    Bossman, Jan 18, 2012
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  12. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    butchers assistant after losing job.

    got caught with my fingers in the bacon slicer. she just got a warning,
     
    Marlon, Jan 18, 2012
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  13. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    Re: butchers assistant after losing job.

    i'm not booing hillcroft i'm booing the ref
     
    Marlon, Jan 18, 2012
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  14. Bossman

    Bossman Well-Known Member

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    Like it heehee!
     
    Bossman, Jan 18, 2012
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  15. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    we weren't bothered about cup. mick mccarthy in a minute.
     
    Marlon, Jan 18, 2012
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  16. Marlon

    Marlon Well-Known Member

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    i was sure they'd win thats why i double star napped em. it was supposed to be free money courtesy of me. doh.

    this is not helping
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2012
    Marlon, Jan 18, 2012
    #16

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