Things you hate about the internet

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Jay, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    For me - fish puns

    You know the type of thing (you must do, we have them on here every month) - You're talking pollacks. I was only codding. Am I herring you correctly? We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns. And on and on and on it goes. (I already know a dolphin isn't a fish, thanks)

    In September 1993 I started uni - Electronic Imaging and Media Communications. A practical course in computers, internet, design, photography and TV. In our first ever lecture thing where you're told about the course and given your time table and a million other things, we were also given an e-mail address. My first ever e-mail address. My first ever e-mail to my first ever e-mail address was from my IT lecturer. He welcomed us to the course, told us what we'd be doing that term and ended the message with what he thought was a funny conversation he'd copied from a Usenet Newsgroup. A load of fish puns. Maybe they were funny, back in 1993, the first time I'd ever read them.

    My first ever proper lecture at Uni was with this IT lecturer who introduced us to the internet. The first thing he did (so the first thing I ever saw on the internet) was open up the Usenet Newsgroups and show us those fish puns. We were also shown IRC (Internet Relay Chat) in that lecture. So we all logged in. The first real time message I received over the internet was from Sam, the bloke sat at the computer next to me, who typed, and I quote, word for ******* word, "I wish he'd stop carping on". I probably laughed then. I'm not laughing now.

    Later that term we were introduced to the world wide web on the Mosaic browser. The first web page I ever saw was the homepage of the IT lecturer. I bet you can't guess what he put on it?

    This was 21 years ago. 21 ******* years of fish puns. That's over half my life. Every single day on some web page I visit there will be someone, who thinks they're the height of wit and originality, doing fish puns. Please, for the love of God, please stop. It's not big, it's not clever and it's slowly but surely sending me insane. If some time in the future you read a newspaper report about an internet revenge attack where some psycho has shoved a whole tuna up someone's arse, that will be me, and it will be your fault.

    Yes, I know what I'm going to get now, but you'd all have been doing it in another thread anyway.
     
  2. Luke

    Luke Ambassador to Korea

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    I wish you'd stop carping on

    ;)










    Sorry.
     
  3. sir ronald

    sir ronald Well-Known Member

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    Stop it , Iv,e got a splitting haddock.
     
  4. MarioKempes

    MarioKempes Well-Known Member

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    For Cods sake this forum is no plaice for fish jokes.
     
  5. tingleytyke

    tingleytyke Well-Known Member

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    That's what schooling does for you.


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  6. Googs

    Googs Well-Known Member

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    Wow that was a good rant Jay. Did you type all that using your fish fingers?
     
  7. Rat

    Rats Well-Known Member

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    Stop spratting about lads
     
  8. BorderTerrier

    BorderTerrier Active Member

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    I think that wishing the end of fish puns on the internet is nothing but a pipe bream
     
  9. tingleytyke

    tingleytyke Well-Known Member

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    Tench


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
  10. M1 Tyke

    M1 Tyke New Member

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  11. Mr C

    Mr C Well-Known Member

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    I think you have a secret fetish for fish puns and that was all a ruse to procure more masturbatory material. Or prawnography, if you will.
     
  12. shenk1

    shenk1 Well-Known Member

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    I'll change the subject then.


    What do you think about the judges on The Voice? My favourite is Kylie Minnowge :p
     
  13. Sim

    Simon De Montforte Well-Known Member

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    Fancy starting a line about hating fish puns. You've made a "rod" for your own back there mate. You should have tried a different angle when taking about the Inter Net that wouldn't have reeled so many people in.
     
  14. kestyke

    kestyke Well-Known Member

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    Jay, you've shone a light where none was there.

    fishing5.gif
     
  15. RichK

    RichK Well-Known Member

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    Good bait Jay, reeled in a fair few bites.
     
  16. Whi

    Whitey Guest

    There's summat fishy about Jay's protestations.
     

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