Tommy Wright's name has just gone on the back of a Darlington shirt

So I hear.
How very interesting.

 

Where's constantines name?

 

Not sure.

I assume it's registered with a League One club - either now or next season.

I've told them Tommy is awesome.

If hell exists, which it doesn't, I'm going there - no doubt.

 

Can we give them Nicky Wroe too? nt

 

Could be wrong here.....

But I think you may be mistaking Tommy Wright with Josh Wright a youngster who we recently released. HE HAS SIGNED FOR DARLO

On the other hand they could have both Tommy and Josh Wright

 

To be fair ...

... my Darlo mate is a bit of a joey.

He did say Tommy though.
And I don't think they'd have shirt done & a press conference for Josh Wright?

You might be "wright" though.

That's my best joke ever that is.

 

RE: To be fair ...

agreed. that's your best ever and it was poor.

 

Many thanks.

It took my script writers (Gaz & Oxford Red) two hours to come up with that.

I've told them to go & spend my cash on some high quality puns - but they keep refusing, claiming that the gags they already have are good enough.
I can see things coming to a head soon.

I've also now told my Darlington mate that Tommy Wright is Josh Wright's Dad.
Have that.

 

RE: Many thanks.

I wondered why they'd be e-mailing me every day. I've had to block Gaz and Oxford from my e-mail now, but I did forward them to Jimmy Tarbuck. Looks like Jimmy replied.

 

Interestingly Josh Wrights dad signed for Leeds that same as David Seaman did

 

Tut.

I'm paying good money for Tarbuck's cast offs?
Gutted.

I'm going to sack Gaz & Oxford Red.
I plan to put Napolean Dynamite & Rothred in temporary/permanent charge (after saying I'm going to appoint someone experienced in being funny).

Can you see any problems with that?

 

Take my mother in law....

I've had no complaints from Bernie Clifton.

No pleasing some people.

 

RE: Tut.

Nope, looks like the perfect plan. I must say it's refereshing to see you taking such an honest up front approach. Definitely experience you say? Box office perhaps?

 

RE: Take my mother in law....

Have to say, I reckon it's mainly Gaz sending them to TFP, I haven't seen a hint of Waitrose sandwich comedy from TFP.

 

Napolean

Who?</p>

I couldn't write a script for you anyway, im not funny enough. But then again I dont try.</p>

 

"Funny enough"?

You are nowhere near as funny as Jamie Williams' attempts to play football.

 

RE: Take my mother in law....

That's my gold material. I'm saving that for when Jim Davidson is back on the box.

Will you be venturing to the mainland for the Soton game? Might make an appearance myself. I've been as absent at the games as I have on here. Not a True Red obviously...

Egg and Bacon sarnie today. Cant be doing with all this Waitrose back to basics egg and cress B*ll*cks.

 

RE: Take my mother in law....

Good lad. Chicken and Stuffing for me today.

Definitely going to the Southampton game. Maybe we could go for an executive box and eat prawns and that.

 

Do me a favour.

This "A34" material you've just sent me is rubbish.

You are sacked.
You may have got me to the top of the "funniest poster" blogscar on limited funds ... but you won't spend my therteh six pence on taking me to the next level.

I believe the inexperienced Dynashite/Rothred duo can do that.

Now **** right off.

 

Sorry, my email's playing up. My messages to you appear to be blocked.

Anyway, in response to your request for 'something funny, I'm dying here' how about falling over and doing a comedy turn to camera? Worth a go, surely?

I've got a good one for "What have you got in the way of cigars?" that definitely doesn't come from Paul Merton - The Series, so if you can steer the topic that way, we're in business.