Useful Warning

I was walking through Southampton towards the train station this morning and an asian gentleman dropped his wallet, I picked it up and caught up with him and handed it to him.

He was incredibly grateful and then gave me a warning.

He said "Stay out of London today because at precisely 12 o'clock midday, the sun's going to be at it's highest point and my pasty white skin could burn and leave me feeling uncomfortable for days"

He recommended anything with SFP 30 or more if I had to go there. I tried to argue that I definitely have olive skin, but he pointed out that olives were either black or green, which was a valid point.

 

Was HE a werewolf?

 

Highs of 25c

 

He had a beard if that's a sign. I'm thinking of getting myself a gun and some silver bullets and shooting everyone I suspect of being a werewolf. I think if they die, that's enough evidence.

 

RE: Highs of 25c

Nice to see they're laying on some decent weather for my return to the motherland.

 

Beards

I'm thinking it might be wise to shave mine off. There seems to be a lot of werewolf suspicion about and I don't like the guilt by association with a persecuted minority. Or getting shot, silver bullets or not.

 

RE: Beards

What kind of beard? There's a difference. Depending on what kind of beard you grow. Gaz for example could be a weregoat. They're not as dangerous.

 

RE: Beards

I think I'm alright - I've not got big sideburns or anything, it's just a fairly nondescript, lazy man's beard. Coupled with the long hair it does make me look a bit like Jesus which can be a problem if I go out in sandals. But nobody ever suspected Him of being a werewolf, as far as I know.

 

RE: Beards

This religious association is a bit suspicious, you were mentioning codes not unlike the Da Vinci code yesterday, plus you killed a snake. Was it trying to make you eat strawberries or something? You also like wine or blood probably.

I'm thinking maybe vampire.

 

It's been suggested before

I'm quite pale and wasn't seen in daylight for some months at one point and the allegation was made. Mind you, I was living in Sweden at the time and there wasn't much daylight to go out in, still the feeling was that there's no smoke without fire. I was lucky to get out of there alive.

In fact, I was living in a place called Kista, which is Swedish for coffin.

I think you might be onto something. Are there pills I can take or something? Or do I have to give in to my destiny and join the conservatives?

 

Why didn't you just pocket the wallet?

That is so made up, who would be that honest?

 

RE: Why didn't you just pocket the wallet?

it was empty and cheap plastic. Otherwise I'd have had it obviously.

 

RE: It's been suggested before

You might be fine, there's a lot of garlic in France and you don't appear to be frightened of it.

Maybe you just want to be a vampire in your head, so you're living the dream and this is all a silly misunderstanding, like voting BNP.

I thought I'd finish on politics seeing as you did. What do you think? Was it too tenuous?

 

BNP? Not me!

I'm with La Poste.

 

Not really .....

..... it's just Blair's weather propoganda.

 

It did rain a lot under the tories

And everything was in black and white a lot of the time. I don't know how people put up with it for so long.

 

RE: BNP? Not me!

La Poste is that the French equivalent? I'm showing my ignorance here but do you get a French vote?

 

RE: BNP? Not me!

No, sorry, it was a bank thing. Banque Nationale de Paris. La Poste is the French post office, recently renamed La Banque Postale.

I don't think I get a vote, although I may in some local elections. I'm still UK resident as I'm only going to be here 182 days a year (183 being the cutoff for mandatory tax residence) so I pay tax and vote in the UK.

 

You owe me 12 seconds.

 

RE: BNP? Not me!

Obviously I let the joke go over my head on purpose. I even bent down and pretended to do my shoelace up.

Can you become a French resident if you wanted to or are you not bothered? I saw an advert in the paper the other day "if you're under 48 or have a relative living in any of these countries or have some savings, we would welcome you" That was for Canada, New Zealand and Australia.

My wife-to-be has close relatives living in Canada and we're seriously considering in the long term. Grass is greener and all that.

Come on you reds! etc