Various overheard stories from Metro web page

I was second in the queue at McDonald's behind a middle-aged man who seemed to have a problem ordering:
Man: I want a cheese burger, but without the cheese.
Employee: So... you want a hamburger, ok.
Man: Yes, I want a hamburger but I dont want any cheese on it.
Employee: Yes, that's a hamburger.
Man: And it hasn't got cheese?
Employee: No
Man: Ok, I'll have a hamburger without cheese
- Lianne Wakeman, Birmingham, West Midlands



Two American girls overheard on a tube to Notting Hill: One says to the other very confidently 'that's where Robin of Sherwood was from'

- Anies Hassan, London



I was on the bus travelling to Dudley at about 8 in the morning. I was reading my metro when a woman sitting behind me started a converstaion with a friend. She said ' I got sent to the main office yesterday for showing a work mate a photograph of a man's bits'. The friend said that didn't sound too bad...' Then the woman shouted 'Yeah but i was sucking it'. I couldn't help but laugh out loud! (and so did a few others on the bus!!)

- Anon, Walsall, Uk



Two teenage girls were behind me on the bus one said "ya know them two blokes who went in the jungle, The Cannibals?"
"Oh you mean Cannon and Ball," said her friend.
"Yeah but which one is the cannibal?"
None of them was the reply, that is their name.
"I bet it is the little one," said her friend. "Who do you think he would have eaten?"

- Sharon Payne, East Ham Uk



On a bus in Manchester, two girls sitting at the back:

"He looked like The Terminator out of The Terminator".

As opposed to the one in Finding Nemo?







Man talking to mate at tube station "....and she does these awful belches where it sounds like a bit of sick is gonna come up....and then she pauses and says 'wait theres more'" - I actually couldnt hold my laughter back when I heard that.



Man on bus to woman sat next to him:
"Gosh, it's so cold for March, Apparently it's these Arctic Winds. I wonder where the Arctic Winds are coming from ?"





Two girly neds on a bus, discussing boyfriends. One says to the other '...an' the wurst thing wiz, he went behind ma back right in frunta mah face!'





Also, I overheard a couple of girls talking about Romany Gypsies and travellers, one said to the other, "I could never be a Gypsy, I get travel sick."





"Cos yeah she's a total goth right?"
"Yeah she got totally all black on on"
"Nah, Goths's don't wear black any more."
"Don't they?"
"Nah, Goth's wear pink now."
"Really?!
"Yeah. If ya see somone down the steet wearing totally pink then they are a goth"

I was unaware of this and will keep and eye out for the new breed of Goth.





Under the sink is a plastic bag full of plastic bags. You'll find a bag there





Dodgy old drunk tramp #1: I drink all the time, but I like to take Sundays off - give my liver a rest.
Dodgy old drunk tramp #2: You've got to protect your metabolism, haven't you?

 

I saw this picture in the metro this morning.

And thought it was quite apt.</p>