Walkers Deep Ridged Crisps

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Jay, Mar 13, 2015.

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  1. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    The packet claims 'Epic Satisfaction' for the diner. Hmmm.

    A beautiful young woman, who looked the spitting image of Rosario Dawson, once committed a sex act on me resulting in relief, all over her fabulous 32 D norks. That was a good day, and the closest I've ever come to 'Epic Satisfaction', but I'm not even sure that made the grade. These crisps were light years behind that. Either someone works at Walkers who is very easily pleased or they're selling me a lie.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  2. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Why did you not marry her ? Rosario Dawson ? Oh my.
     
    Extremely Northern, Mar 13, 2015
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  3. Nor

    NorthernDreamer Well-Known Member

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    Could have been worse, could have been cheesy wotsits...
     
    NorthernDreamer, Mar 13, 2015
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  4. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    She didn't like me much. Well, she did at first, but then she said I was immature and only interested in getting pissed out of my face every night. It was very difficult to come up with a counter argument.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  5. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    She seems picky.
     
    Extremely Northern, Mar 13, 2015
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  6. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    Confused of Hoylandswaine writes:

    Indicates this was against your will.

    Would suggest otherwise.
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 13, 2015
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  7. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    I'm pretty sure committing a sex act with Cheesy Wotsits is a crime.
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 13, 2015
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  8. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    That's what I thought.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  9. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Nah, just legal parlance.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  10. Red

    Red-Taff. Well-Known Member

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    Red-Taff., Mar 13, 2015
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  11. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    Wouldn't 'performed' be better?
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 13, 2015
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  12. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Probably, yes. Maybe much better. But to be fair to me for a minute, I don't claim to be any sort of a writer or to be any good at it, I'm just bashing some ***** out on an internet forum, attempting to make a few people laugh, not writing a novel. I would imagine the majority of words I choose could be substituted for better ones. I only know about 200 words in total and I prefer to use **** instead of half of them.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  13. RichK

    RichK Well-Known Member

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    Lucky escape by the sounds mate.
     
    RichK, Mar 13, 2015
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  14. Plankton Pete

    Plankton Pete Well-Known Member

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    Soz fella. Good paraphrasing of Billy Connolly there. And you under sell your writing skills. (All meant to be constructive you sensitive little thing)
     
    Plankton Pete, Mar 13, 2015
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  15. Micky Finn

    Micky Finn Well-Known Member

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    Beer goggles. I think you were confusing her with Stephen Dawson.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
    Micky Finn, Mar 13, 2015
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  16. Redstar

    Redstar Well-Known Member

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    More like Robert Rosario...
     
    Redstar, Mar 13, 2015
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  17. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Blimey! I'm impressed.
    <img src ="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/94/83/90/9483903e2ae1b2549dc0d82ddb859c50.jpg">
     
    JLWBigLil, Mar 13, 2015
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  18. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    It was another attempt to make you laugh.
     
    Jay, Mar 13, 2015
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  19. Shy Talk

    Shy Talk Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you're supposed to w**k on the crisps?
     
    Shy Talk, Mar 13, 2015
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  20. juttyp

    juttyp Well-Known Member

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    Balsamic?
     
    juttyp, Mar 13, 2015
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