What should you do if you think you've got smallpox?

Discussion in 'Bulletin Board ARCHIVE' started by Jay, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Just out of interest
     
    Jay, Feb 23, 2012
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  2. man

    mansfield_red Well-Known Member

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    I thought it was eradicated 20-30 years ago? If you did genuinely have smallpox, I guess you'd be best quarantining yourself ASAP.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2012
    mansfield_red, Feb 23, 2012
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  3. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Dial 999 and quarantine yourself ?

    Same as if you think the offside decision on Tue was correct.
     
    Extremely Northern, Feb 23, 2012
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  4. Gordon Owen

    Gordon Owen Well-Known Member

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    Take off your clothes and burn them in an old oil drum, then phone Hemsy "The Oracle"
     
    Gordon Owen, Feb 23, 2012
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  5. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    It's probably an allergic reaction to summat, but it could be scabies which is a pretty horrible thought in itself, but I'm a terrible hypochondriac so obviously I think it's smallpox.

    Going to the docs tomorrow so look out for me on the news.
     
    Jay, Feb 23, 2012
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  6. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Can we catch it from communicating with you on here ?

    Like Hemmsy talking to Radio Sheffield callers.
     
    Extremely Northern, Feb 23, 2012
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  7. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    Only if I pm you

    I've pm'd it to thereev and orsenkhat.
     
    Jay, Feb 23, 2012
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  8. EastStander

    EastStander Active Member

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    Go to the doctors.

    What symptoms have you got? Thinking it could be shingles.
     
    EastStander, Feb 23, 2012
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  9. budmustang

    budmustang Well-Known Member

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    Itchy wrists and elbows?

    Maybees it's scabies.
     
    budmustang, Feb 23, 2012
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  10. Dragon Tyke

    Dragon Tyke Well-Known Member

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    pour Coke down your back and call the insurance

    hope this helps
     
    Dragon Tyke, Feb 23, 2012
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  11. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    festering pustules

    Hi kids
     
    Jay, Feb 23, 2012
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  12. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Re: Only if I pm you

    Good work. Attach some yellow fever to it an'all.
     
    Extremely Northern, Feb 23, 2012
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  13. Tyk

    Tyketical Masterstroke Well-Known Member

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    Nothing - the scrophula and consumption will no doubt do for you first.

    Regards,

    Samuel Pepys.
     
    Tyketical Masterstroke, Feb 23, 2012
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  14. Jay

    Jay Well-Known Member

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    I think I'm immune to them after my bout of plague.
     
    Jay, Feb 23, 2012
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  15. Ext

    Extremely Northern Well-Known Member

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    Listened to them on the John Peel sessions.

    Copyright overused joke co.
     
    Extremely Northern, Feb 23, 2012
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  16. RichK

    RichK Well-Known Member

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    Come on here for medical opinion obviously.
     
    RichK, Feb 23, 2012
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  17. JLWBigLil

    JLWBigLil Well-Known Member

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    Panic

    Cry, sulk, make out your will, blame Keith Hill.
    Oh, and don't scratch those spots. It'll only make things worse.
     
    JLWBigLil, Feb 23, 2012
    #17
  18. Merde Tete

    Merde Tete Well-Known Member

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    Get yourself to the Tory party conference asap...

    ...and sneeze on as many people as possible.

    Correction. Apparently it is transmitted by prolonged face to face contact, as well as in bodily fluids. What a dilemma, to snog Anne Widdecombe or not? I reckon if it gave her a dose of something nasty, it would have to be worth it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2012
    Merde Tete, Feb 23, 2012
    #18
  19. rot

    rothred Active Member

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    This is on a par with "where can I buy a belt in town?"

    "I think I've got a serious desease, what shall I do?" "I know, I'll ask a website full of random strangers". The same bunch of strangers who can offer you no instant proof that they have any medical qualifications and have a general reputation of being nitwits, attention seekers and sh1tstirrers.

    Gotta be a wind up, stop taking **** out of west yorkshires finest
     
    rothred, Feb 23, 2012
    #19
  20. Gaz

    Gaz Active Member

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    Type the symptoms into Google, select worst case scenario, then panic. That's how I do it.
     
    Gaz, Feb 23, 2012
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