And you have to delve in to the cupboard containing all the weird and wonderful liquor bottles that you've had for years that have gone all sticky and you struggle to get the tops off, may I recommend Southern Comfort and orange juice. It's the future. 50/50 seems like a good mix. Incidentally, what the **** is unicum, why have I got a bottle of it and who the hell gave it to me? It smells evil. Even worse than you would imagine.
I've solved the unicum problem. I never run out of beer. I may run out of bread or milk, much to the disgust of my kids, but I NEVER run out of beer.
Unicum is pretty much what it says on the bottle, unicorn cum liqueur. brewed in Narnia. It gives you strange dreams and you wake up with the horn. there is a cheaper English version, that is made from the excess cum collected from universities halls of residence due to all the young lads furiously masturbating constantly. Not sure which type you have, but hope you enjoyed it. I prefer Baileys myself, but each to their own.
Talking of liqueurs ... My sister produce a bottle of parkin flavoured liqueur on Christmas day. Now that WAS nasty.
All I can say to this is that Jay is not a proper drinker.........if he was then he wouldn't have any left over drinks in the house to start with. Excluding Christmas.........if you don't expect to drink it the same day that you bought it or had it given then whats the point???
Been there - no alcohol in the house at 10.30pm and every where shut. Too intoxicated to drive and unable to remember the correct strength of toilet duck and lemonade for it to be safe to drink and still give you the kick needed. So popped across the road and bought a couple of bottles of wine from the pub. I was willing to pay owt.
I like both. But this was disgusting. I'm sure [MENTION=6673]Hicksy[/MENTION] will back me up. I dare say there's almost a full bottle left if you want to add it to your collection ...
Unicum takes like what I expect rotten dead body juice does. We were sinking it on Gally's stag in Hungary and I can still taste it. Literally the worst alcoholic drink I've ever tried.
To be fair, Unicum makes your kid's Parkin drink taste like nectar. It was disgusting, but Jay's spirit cupboard contains a drink worse than any other.
I had the misfortune to order a vegetarian pizza in the arse-end of provincial Russia, only to find when it arrived that is was topped with carrot, potato and broccoli. Carrots, spuds and broccoli are all nice as is pizza, but this was seriously atrocious. All it needed was some Yorkshire pudding and gravy to finish it off. Also, my cousin bought a sweet donut in Japan, which turned out to be filled with curry.
It's a long time ago now, but the first time I ever took my wife out for a meal we went to Pinocchio's in town. Can't remember what I had, but my wife ordered a vegetarian pizza. We were young, we hadn't been courting long, I was desperate to impress, it was probably the first time I'd ever took anyone out for a meal, so I was nervous, doing all the ordering and **** for the first time, trying to work out the proper etiquette. Her pizza arrived covered in carrots. Not one or two, it was basically a carrot pizza. Thanks a bunch lads, I'm towing my ballacks off here, all you lot have to do is throw a few peppers and mushrooms on some cheese on toast and I'm golden, but you cover the thing in ******* carrots. I didn't know whether to punch someone or crawl under the table and die. Seems like the arse-end of provincial Russia is just 25 years behind Barnsley.
Interestingly, I'd say that from many points of view, provincial Russia and Ukraine are as close to South Yorkshire as anywhere I've been in the world in terms of the attitudes of the people. Quite suspicious of outsiders at first, yet unbelievably warm and friendly once they get to know you. Leaving any gathering with an empty stomach, no matter how small (the gathering, not the stomach) is possibly the biggest social faux pas imaginable. You must eat whatever is in front of you and then a second and third helping, even if it is carrot pizza.
On the extremely rare occasion I run out of beer, I have a decent supply of single malt whisky and bourbon to fall back on!
