From 606: Where were you when JFK was shot? Where were you when we heard the tragic news about Di? Where were you when Brian Howard scored? I was listening to the car radio after a set-to with the missus. Every so often she will assume that it's all right to go shopping of a Saturday afternoon if the Boro aren’t playing. I resisted of course, but then she tried to throw guilt into the mix. "It's your mam we're buying stuff for!" Mother’s Day, my arse, I thought. "I don't care if we're buying welcome gifts for the Second Coming of the Messiah as he strolls in across Hartlepool Docks, it is ten to five of a Saturday afternoon and I am listening to the radio....!" "Well that’s just lovely!" she sneered. "....And if he was any decent sort of Messiah he'd want to know the results from the 5th round of the FA Cup any road!" So she was in Primark when Martin Atkinson showed all the decisiveness of a Darling and didn't give a stonewall penalty. Apparently he's a West Yorkshire man, too, so he should know a stone wall when he sees one. Happen he must be from Pudsey or Leeds. Anyway, that flagrant feebleness led to the most delightful of outcomes, so perhaps Atkinson was just cannily playing advantage. It was a goal that summed up the match: the tigerish Barnsley skipper not giving up on it, and Xabi Alonso's attempt at winning the ball reminding me of being attacked by me grandson with some fuzzy felt. The more sentimental amongst us can now officially point to all this as cast-iron proof of that spiritual phenomenon known as The Magic Of The Cup. Of course you have to weigh that against some stark realities... The Beeb's televised games were about as romantic as going on a date accompanied by your girlfriend's dad armed with a cattle prod. (It's a long story – suffice to say stay away from farmers' daughters in the County Durham area). Arsenal withdrew from the competition at 5.15pm but foolishly decided to play the game anyway. Once again, you're left with the impression that the Gunners win with loads of grace and lose with none. Gallas should've been off, Eboue is up there in the Barton/Savage league of stroppy tosspots and as for Adebayor's dive! Cristiano must have been shaking his head in disgust, it was so amateur. Never mind booking the bloke! Give him a mask, a snorkel and a pair of flippers and send him back out there to finish the game. Voronin couldn't finish a sandwichDerek 'Robbo' Robson The Bristol Rovers players have moaned about their pitch but at least they've had experience of playing on a surface that was about as even as Teletubby land. I've seen fewer bobbles on an over-washed cardy. And the Blades v the Boro was VERY dull. Now you know why they left the balloons on the pitch in the last round. Still, the perennial question that remains after all the weekend's fun and games is this: How come David James waited 'til he was 37 before he decided to be good? Actually, that's not the BIG question. The big question is 'What is Rafa doing?' His post-match chats are getting more and more vapid. He's turning into a Spanish Glenn Roeder. I dunno whether it's the accent or what, but he always sounds to me like he's speaking through a bathroom sponge. To be fair, they did have a lot of chances in the game and the loan star keeper Steele was inspired. But take Torres and Gerrard out of the equation and, well, Tara Palmer-Tompkinson's got more up front. That Voronin couldn't finish a sandwich. Crouch at least gets himself in the right place and should surely be given more backing by the bumbling boss. It's all very well for the Kop to be yelling for the Yanks to Go Home (and I don't think they should be using a football club for what are ultimately personal financial ends either) but Benitez's time has come. I won't be surprised if they put together a good performance at Anfield on Tuesday, 'cos Rafa will put his best team out with a clear game plan. Benitez is great at taking on better teams than his. Trouble is, he hasn't got a clue how to beat worse ones - hence the league position. Often, it seems team selections are made with a blindfold and a pin. And don't forget there are 56 players to choose from! Fifty six! Five teams! All of them incapable of beating Barnsley. You might argue that a lot of Premier League teams have ballsed it up this year, but none of 'em have spent £46m on players. For all the Cup success, Benitez has failed to put a consistent team in place in the four years he's been there and for a club like Liverpool that's just not good enough. So, as Cilla might put it, it'll have to be ta-ra, chuck!
Best line was ... "Xabi Alonso's attempt at winning the ball reminding me of being attacked by me grandson with some fuzzy felt" Also see http://www.barnsleyfc.org.uk/BBS/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=97740&mid=629989#M629989 Must admit it was a bit cribbed
