With apologies to Val Doonican.

Now Devaney was a donkey that nobody admired, temporarily lazy and permanently tired
A leg at every corner balancing his head, and his dick was hanging out to let you know which end was fed
Ritchie slyly said "They 've underrated him, why not train him?" then he took a rag
He rubbed him, scrubbed him, oiled and embrocated him, got him on the pitch and when the linesman dropped his flag
Well there was Ritchie pushing him, shoving him, kicking him,
Holden, Shuker and everyone else around,
Lining up attacking him, shoving him and smacking him,
They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down.
Devaney was eyeing them, openly defying them
Winking, blinking, and twisting out of place
Ritchie nearly giving in, everybody cursing him
The day Devaney debuted for The Mighty Reds.

The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch, they couldn't budge Devaney a quarter of an inch
Shepherd lay exhausted,
Hanging round his throat,
With a grip just like a Scotchman on a five pound note

Hard man Carbon lined up with the rest of them
When Devaney saw him, he was willing then
He raced up, chased up, ready for the best of them.
But when the Ponty started cheering, well he changed his mind again

And there was Ritchie pushing him, shoving him, cursing him,
Windy, Roundsman and Little Laura too,
She started poking him, kicking him and choking him,
She rapped him on the knuckles and he cried "Boo - Hoo!"
The Big Lils were going spare, Acky nearly lost his hair,
The Hartog Set, and all the rest they hurried to the place,
Stood there in unity, the BBS community
The day Devaney’s fan club, well he could’nt show his face

The crowd began to fear him, definite not cheer him,
Patrick Cryne the chairman came marching from the stands,
He said “You’ll get no money”
Devaney smirked “You’re funny”
“I’ve got a two year contract,
So I’m staying here!”

Holden thought he was a student of psychology,
Swore he'd shift him with some dynamite
He bought it, brought it, then without apology Devaney gave a fart,
And blew the whole lot out of sight

So there was Ritchie pushing him, shoving him and cursing him,
Holden, Shuker and all the London crew,
East Stand, West Stand, The Ponty End and North Stand
Those who went to Wembley and to Rochdale too,
They lifted him and harried him, they picked him up and carried him
Cheered him, steered him to a promotion place,
Then the Rovers fans just stepped aside, and all commited suicide
The day Devaney's donkeys put a smile back on our face.

 

Being one of the few on here old enough to remember

Val Doonican , that is absolutely brilliant !!!(Y) (Y) (Y) (lol) (lol) (lol)