>> Subject: Fw: CHRISTMAS PARTY EMAIL >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: 1st November 2005 >> >> RE: CHRISTMAS PARTY >> >> >> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take >> place on >> December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the >> Grill >> House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! >> We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free >> to >> sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa >> Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts >> among >> employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over >> £10.00 >> to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. >> This gathering is only for employees! >> The MD will make a special announcement at the Party. >> Merry Christmas to you and your Family. >> >> Pauline >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: 2nd November 2005 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish >> employees. We >> recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides >> with >> Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on >> we're >> calling it our 'Holiday Party'.. >> The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. >> There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will >> Have other types of music for your enjoyment. >> Happy now? >> >> >> Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: 6th November 2005 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous >> requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy >> to >> accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, >> "AA >> Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! >> How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? >> Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the >> Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management >> believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. >> >> >> Pauline. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All Employees >> >> DATE: 7th November 2005 >> >> RE: Holiday Party >> >> What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins >> the >> Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during >> daylight hours. There goes the party! >> Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does >> not >> accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House >> can hold >> off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package >> everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. >> Will that work? >> Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit >> farthest from >> the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to >> the >> toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have >> to >> sit with gay men, each will have their own table. >> Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To >> the >> person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. >> We will >> have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available >> for >> those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we >> suggest >> those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.. There >> will be >> fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply >> "No >> Sugar" desserts. Sorry! >> Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! >> >> Pauline. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director >> >> TO: All F****** Employees >> >> DATE: 8 November 2005 >> >> RE: The F******* Holiday Party. >> >> >> Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep >> this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can >> sit >> quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death",as you so >> quaintly >> put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic >> tomatoes, But >> you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. >> I've >> heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!! >> I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die. >> >> >> The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director >> >> DATE: 9th November 2005 >> >> RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party >> >> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy >> recovery, >> and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the >> Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give >> everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay. ff
