O/T Newish Bloody Cars

I've had to borrow my father-in-law's two year old car, as mine has failed its MOT. It could be that I'm well out of the loop with the latest vehicle technology, but I've never driven anything as weird.

• It starts with a push button which has a mind of its own. Sometimes you only need to press it once and if you already have the clutch down the car will start. Sometimes doing so will just power the car up and you have to release the clutch and depress it again before the button will actually start the engine. Similarly when switching the engine off, one press of the button is sometimes sufficient, to allow use of the key fob to lock the car. Sometimes though it will scream at you that its key isn't where it should be and you have to reach back into the car and press the button again. A couple of times sometimes.

• The handbrake is a funny little rocker switch which you pull towards you and don't need to release before setting off again.

• When you put the handbrake on, push the gear stick into neutral and take your foot off the clutch, the engine either continues to idle like you would expect it to or switches off displaying a Co2 saver reading on the dashboard. When the latter happens, it will mysteriously start again of its own accord a couple of minutes later.

• Sometimes the wing mirrors will move into position when you unlock the car. Sometimes they don't until you power the car up. Sometimes they don't at all and you have to fiddle with a switch on the inside of the door.

• I've turned the god damn nuisance of a feature off, which beeps at you insanely when you get within two feet of something while manoeuvering or detects you are over the white line when passing parked vehicles.

Does everyone have to put up with these things, it's driving me (literally) crackers!

 

I’m still coming to terms with five forward gears

 

My key never once leaves my pocket after i leave the house.

Touch to unlock then stop/start button and life is easy.

I love it.

 

I probably would if it consistently worked the same way every time.

 

Mine does. Foot on clutch, press button and I'm away in 5 seconds.

 

I assume you haven't got a Nissan Qashqai then.

 

It’s annoying - but it’s less annoying than having to constantly use plastic filler on the body work and fasten tin cans around the hole in the exhaust pipe.

 

So why did your Austin AUSTIN fail its MOT????

 

It's funny you should say that. My first car was an Austin Allegro. It's a Honda CRV which has bitten the dust though.

 

I like my two-year old car. It starts when I want. Its warm in winter, and cool in summer, it does all kinds of eco stuff, and it has digital radio. It also has the ability to park itself. Can I get that to work? Can I buggery!

 

I once picked up a nice Princess from that place that became Japanese Whispers

 

Was she really beautiful?

 

Went off him when he turned back into a frog

 

It sounds like the main issue is not understanding the vagauries of how the stop start technology works. I must admit, I am not a big fan of it and generally turn it off but the pain in the arse is that you have to turn it off every time you get in the car because its co2 rating is based on the assumption that it will be on so it defaults being back on each time you start the car.

But some things to bear in mind, assuming it works the same as my car:

a. When you stop it will decide whether it can switch the engine off or not. It will depend on outside temperature and battery level. So sometimes, especially when you have just started out, it won't stop the engine when you expect it to.

b. It can't let you walk away and lock the car with the engine in sleep mode not actually turned off, for safety reasons. I presume different cars handle it different ways but it may be what you are seeing when you have to go back in and press the button. Mine will always restart the engine if it in sleep mode as soon as a door is opened or you undo your seat belt. Drives me mad because you pull up, engine goes to sleep then you have to undo your seat belt for the engine to come on so you can turn the bloody thing off again. Seems like a pointless bashing of the starter motor to me.

No idea what is going on with your wing mirrors.

Personally I like electronic hand brakes although I understand why some people prefer a good old fashioned lever. It has been said that it was an invention that nobody needed.

Love my keyless entry with the stop and start button. The strangest setup I have seen though is some cars, such as BMWs from a few years ago had a slot where you had to put the key and then you pressed the start button. Whats the fecking point of that?? - why not just use the key to start the engine. The very point of a start button is so the key can stay in your pocket not so you can stick it in a different slot.

 

try 6 with a spliter and hi/low range =24 on certain wagons

 

I think I'm definitely 'suffering' from having too much new (for me) technology all at once. I suppose it's as a result of making good decisions with my last two used cars. I bought a 10 year old one which I got a further 6 years out of and a 9 year old one which lasted another 7 years. The MOT failure of the latest one was unexpected [emissions and engine management light]. I didn't know the latter was now a fail. We had already started looking for a new one, as on top of this the air con pump had broken and the automatic gearbox was in the words of a specialist "getting tired".

 

Does anyone know of a new car you can buy that hasn't got all this crap but does have niceties like alloy wheels, comfy seats, a radio with knobs/buttons and aircon?

My folks are in their 80s and their current car is too big. I can find basic cars with plastic wheel trims and dash, hessian seats and an FM radio but as soon as you upgrade to a trim with alloy wheels you're stuck with the Hi-fi wi-fi USB DAB electronic climatronic supersonic 7 inch IPS TFT touchscreen bluetooth navigation infotainment display system stuck in the centre console.

Can anyone recommend a small hatch a reasonably luxurious feel to the build but with keys, a handbrake, aircon, alloys and radio you don't need a degree to operate? There surely must be a market in the SAGA crowd for a car like this!

 

My Austin Ambassador was a Y .Reg.

 

my Vauxhall Minerva had six forward gears, and the parking brake was a little switch too.... but you did not need to presss it to move off it went off automatically when you put the throttle pedal down....quite good on hill starts. Changed it this year and am back with a manual brake, have to say I prefer the manual brake.